About Faiqa Khan

Mother of two, wife of one, master of none. Trying madly to be prolific on her personal blog at Native Born and proving beyond a reasonable doubt that she's not a racist on Hey! That's My Hummus!

Monarchy and the Making of Amaydeekah

Fake Ben Franklin looking full on gangster in front of the Declaration of Independence.

Have I mentioned before that I was the first person my family to be born in America? I’m the only one in my family who can be president because I was actually born here. I have no intention of running for president, of course, because, think about it, if I were president right now, I [...]

4 Tricks That’ll Get You Out of Thanksgiving at Your In-Laws’

Are the only ones going to Thanksgiving at your in-laws you and this guy? Let's fix that.

Play it Crazy. Call your mother-in-law every day from now until the day you actually break the news. This seems counterintuitive, but you should call every SINGLE day. Maybe even twice a day. In addition to laying the groundwork for reasons you won’t be able to make it like, “I’ve been looking at airline tickets [...]

That Time I Almost Became J. K. Rowling

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Memphis was a seven hour drive from this year’s NonCon. Unless you’re traveling with a potty trained three year-old. Then, it’s like 17 hours. Whenever  my husband tries to convince me to buy a portable DVD player, I say, “We didn’t have DVD players on road trips and we turned out just fine.” If this [...]

Who’s the Perfect Mother?

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Being perfect was a huge theme in my childhood home. We three children coped with this by graduating Summa Cum Laude from grad school, becoming a cardiologist, or by dropping out of theater school and never holding a “real” job until the age of 36. I want my children to know I don’t expect perfect, [...]

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You: I’ve Become My Mother

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Even thinking about the movie The Exorcist creeps me out. Like, just now, my husband just walked into our room while I was typing this and I almost peed in my pants because I thought it was the devil. I once tried to read The Exorcist, but couldn’t finish it. The book makes the movie feel like that [...]

Escape from LaGuardia

Ladies and Gentleman? This shit is not going to happen any time soon.

Here’s my BlogHer recap: our party was awesome, I had fun, sleep is for sad bears, and Journey remains my “go-to” for karaoke. Now, let’s bitch about the flight delay from NYC to Memphis on Sunday after the conference. Never, in all of my travel history have I had an experience so incredibly screwed as [...]

Do Everything You Want and Still Gain Weight!

I love cupcakes.

There is no perfect size!! I scoff at patriarchal bullshit that insinuates as much!! But, like, OMG, I am soooo fat. I continue to be fabulous, beautiful and a force to be reckoned with. Nonetheless, I’m a big, fat force to reckoned with. I won’t bore you with why I’m fatter now than ever before, [...]

The Parenting Paradigm of Intervariability. (Yep. That’s Completely Made Up.)

She says to-maahh-to, he says pick up truck.

It’s not that we’re dealing with small humans that makes parenting difficult. It’s the variability factor when it comes to those small humans. Unfortunately, those of you who only have the one kid cannot relate to this. Of course, your only child exhibits variability when it comes to their own behavior. I assume that whether [...]

How to Take a Second Swing at Your Summer Reading List

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Second swing is a baseball term, right? Or did I make that up? Because you missed the ball the first time… so… second swing? What ball, you ask? We had a list of books given to us at the end of every school year in high school that we were expected to read before the [...]

Faith in Humanity (By Way of Fenway Park)

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There’s a part of each of us that thinks that people will laugh at us. That thinks the world is a place where once someone is down, there are only kicks available to keep them there. People will tell you that. They’ll tell you not to bare your soul to strangers. Or to keep your [...]

How Long Can I Keep Blogging About My Kids?

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Once, I watched Disney’s Beauty and the Beast with my daughter. The scene with a bunch of bats come flying out of the dark, gloomy forest commenced. With disdain, my daughter asked, “What are those supposed to be?” Note, she’s not asking what they are… she’s asking about what they are supposed to be. This [...]

7 Songs Too Awesome (or Terrible) to be Covered

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Some famous guy said that anything worth saying/written/inventing had already been said/written/invented. I think it was Oscar Wilde. Or Freddie Mercury. Whatever. Someone fabulous. Speaking of Freddie Mercury, anything worth singing has already been sung, too. I just don’t know how to break it to these kids today, but it’s just that most of those [...]