About CindyR

Cindy Reed avoids actual pants and is overly fond of a jaunty fedora. She has exactly one rap video. Visit her at The Reedster Speaks, where you’ll find her blogging almost exclusively about her underwear. If you still can’t get enough of her, you could follow every pearl of wisdom that drops from her lips at yeah write and on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. She lives in Asheville, North Carolina, the cesspool of sin.

Valentine’s Gift Guide for the Non-Romantic.

Photo credit: Justin Ficklin

Valentine’s Day insists on coming again this year and it vexes the non-romantic among us. For example, me. I hate flowers. They die. I might as well take two twenty dollar bills out of my wallet and fling them out the window of my minivan. They’re labor intensive. You get them thrust at you and [...]

Calgon refuses to take me away.

I slipped away after supper thinking I might grab a relaxing soak in the tub. The first 90 seconds of my bath? Sublime. Remember those “Calgon, Take Me Away” ads from the 1970s? For a minute and a half, I was that last scene of the transformed harried housewife, at last calmly luxuriating in her [...]

Top 5 Huffington Post Slideshows I Clicked Through in 2013 While Waiting for My Kids.

Top 5 reedster aiming low huffpo

It’s the end of the year and that means I’m going all “best of” list on your asses. The typical top 10 topics are out. I saw exactly zero movies last year. My Spotify playlists are frozen in the 1990s. I could make lists of things like “Top 10 Reasons I Yelled at My Kids [...]

The Timeworn Tale of the Sick Mother and the Children Who Didn’t Care.

spices reedster aiminglow

I spent Friday feverish, throat like a Brillo Pad, dreading the moment the kids would come home. I heard them enter, my husband shushing them with a “Mom’s sick! Let her sleep!” The door squeaked. I sensed little faces staring at me in the dimness of my shuttered bedroom, their breathing like stage whispers. My [...]

5 Reasons Why I am the Laziest Person Ever

Who us? We never piss or barf.

Sometimes I look around my house and I am astonished at just how lazy I can be. Depending on the number of times I’ve ferried children to taekwondo in a given week, I can be house-lazy to the point of “Hoarders” grossness. Here are five examples of my appalling laziness: 1.  For six months, I [...]