Youse Guys Is Alive And Well

Yeah, it's only Merriam-Webster, but it's still a dictionary.

Or is it you’s guys? I’m not really sure, but however you spell it, it’s proof that the English language can still be bastardized by lazy, apathetic assholes that don’t feel the need to actually learn how to speak, write, or read properly. I suppose it’s because they know that they can get their point [...]

Super Saiyan

crazy

Okay, watch this shit, but be warned that there is swearing in it. Notice anything strange about this video? No? You didn’t think it was odd that she is wearing a pink hoodie with gray slacks? I could tell she was crazy by the jaguar roar and shit, but I didn’t think she’d go so [...]

Stupid Asswipe

bearshit-2

That’s right. I’m pissed right off, and I don’t care who knows it. I got turned down to be a brand ambassador in a campaign on Triberr. It was to promote shit tickets. You know: bung roll, crap wrap, turd towels. It’s downright embarrassing is what it is. I mean come on, I’m the King [...]

I Forgot To Write A Post This Week

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I finished work yesterday and packed things up to head north for the long weekend. It was Friday night, so we dined on chips and candy while washing it down with a couple of sody pops. Did I ever mention that I am a bit scatterbrained? Well, I am. For instance, I am now writing [...]

Sometimes I Discuss Religion, And Sometimes It Bites Me In The Ass

I'll use any Monty Python references that I get a chance to.

I’m not a religious person. Never really have been. Sure I went to Sunday school and tried to believe everything they told us about Jesus and God, but it just didn’t sit right with me, so I moved on. That doesn’t mean it’s all bullshit, it just means that I just don’t buy into it [...]

How To Properly Float Your Fanny Down The Ganny

SAMSUNG

Every spring in the town of Port Hope, Ontario, thousands congregate on the shores of the Ganaraska River to commemorate the devastating flooding of it’s banks in 1980. It’s called Float Your Fanny Down The Ganny, and it’s a good time for everyone. Hundreds of competitors plunge headlong into the river and race to the [...]

I Almost Wrecked A Police Car

Popocar

It’s totally true. When I got out of the army I worked at one of those car washes that pulls your car through on a roller while it’s in neutral. It was in the back part of a gas bar and mechanic shop. Sometimes, when it wasn’t overly busy, my bosses would get me to [...]

I’m A Victim Of “Do As I Say, Not As I Do”

Like that, except rustier and no license plate.

Anyone else here grow up under that rule? Paul and my dad were like that. There was always something that I was taught never to do, as we were doing it. I won’t give true accounts of it, because it could incriminate all parties, but I will throw an example, that may or may not [...]

What Is All This Slender Man Garbage?

This is him without the tentacles. Apparently you can make him however you like. This adds to the legitimacy of the legend.

Seriously, I want to know. It can’t be just our two kids that are totally obsessed with everything Slender Man. Can it? Know Your Meme says that he originated in a photo contest where people were asked to digitally alter a photo to make it as creepy as they could. The (urban) legend just built [...]

My Dog Is A Bad Influence

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It’s true. He’s a leader, which would be cool if he was of good moral fibre, but he’s not. He’s a bit of an asshole and has no respect for authority, unless the authorities have treats, and there is nowhere fun for him to go hunting. I realized this on Easter when I was at [...]

Robert Peed on the Floor

Didn't they all look like this back then?

It happened when I was in kindergarten. Not only did he pee on the floor, but he did it while straddling two sinks in the boys washroom at Plainville Public School, and he didn’t give two shits that I was watching. I, of course, ran to the hall and told the first person I saw. [...]

Slap Me Some Skin

No windshield sucks

I usually don’t do the dialogue thing, because I never remember them, but this one I found very funny and made a note of it. I’m not going to lie, it could have been my glaucoma medicine cookie that made it seem so hilarious, so you might want to eat one and wait an hour [...]