We All Fake It

2013

Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon; The flames of Love extinguished, and fully past and gone:  Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold, that loving Breast of thine;  That thou canst never once reflect Auld Lang Syne. CHORUS: On Auld Lang Syne my Jo, On Auld Lang Syne, That thou canst [...]

Top 5 Huffington Post Slideshows I Clicked Through in 2013 While Waiting for My Kids.

Top 5 reedster aiming low huffpo

It’s the end of the year and that means I’m going all “best of” list on your asses. The typical top 10 topics are out. I saw exactly zero movies last year. My Spotify playlists are frozen in the 1990s. I could make lists of things like “Top 10 Reasons I Yelled at My Kids [...]

Beat It Like It Owes You Money

That's 1/4" wallboard at the max. I'm surprised that nothing got on me.

Mouth breathers are going to be the death of me. Last night I set my alarm for six o’clock in the morning. Normally it would be five, but because of a series of screw ups yesterday, the crew that was supposed to have our bridges in didn’t complete their end of the bargain. This means [...]

It’s Two Days After Christmas…A Totally Exhausted Poem

                                image credit It’s Two Days After Christmas ‘Tis two days after Christmas and all through the house Shit’s strewn everywhere and there’s wine on my blouse The kids in their snuggles tucked up in their beds While visions of flame throwers [...]

Our Beautiful Differences

BeautifulDifferences1

A few weeks ago I went with my husband and my two young daughters to watch Disney’s latest animated feature film Frozen. I had no idea what the movie was supposed to be about. All I remembered from the trailer I saw was that there was a lot of snow, a snowman, and a reindeer [...]

I’m Rebellious!

sdfsdaf

I’ve never been much of a rebel. Never shoplifted as a teenager. Didn’t get drunk and vomit all over my parents while they were sleeping. Wasn’t courageous enough to light up a square in the high school bathroom. I do have a bathroom story, however. Once as a freshman nature called during civics class. I [...]

An Ode to Hot Sauce

hothothot

There are some things in life that aren’t delightful; The outcomes are boring, or dreary and gray. They leave you with pain and make you feel spiteful, Like the time I got hot sauce on my penis one day. While eating nachos and some salsa I got, I realized my hot salsa needed more hot. [...]

Santa’s calendar: The week before Christmas

Image via SXC

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 24TH, 2013 Busy day today. Don’t know how longer I can keep up this kind of schedule. Must make sure to hydrate and refill prescriptions. Christmas comes but once a year because Santa need to take a fucking seat, y’all. Pancake breakfast in New Jersey Photos at the mall (yawn) Fly in to New [...]

Every kiss doesn’t begin with Kay.

No!

My husband proposed in front of a dog-doo sanitation unit. You know, the little stand they have in parks and on trails, with baggies and a trash can where you can stow poo? Yeah. He didn’t mean to, but when he got down on 1 knee along the trail where we had our first date, [...]

I Love My Job

Sunrise as I soak down the freshly graded powder.

I really do like getting up and going to work in the morning. Now. I wasn’t  always so eager, but I love coming out west in the winters and freezing in ice roads. I don’t know why. Before you get excited I’ll tell you that it’s not like on the show. This is a totally [...]