Walk The Walk

You know how kids sometimes don’t do things when you ask them to?

Yeah, I know it’s rare, but every once in a while they just seem to forget when you mentioned that the laundry needed to be put in the dryer after the buzzer went off and the dry clothes need to be folded.

Three times.

That happened on the weekend and caused a bit of a blow up. It wasn’t the only thing, but it was the final straw. It happened after a night of driving kids around, giving money for a dance, candy, etc…

Now, I should mention that my wife is far more patient than I am when it comes doling out punishment and responsibilities. If it was me asking, there would have been no electronics for a week, and no rides past the bus stop, but she has a much cooler head.

Lucky for the kids.

She went back down to see headphones on, TV going, wet laundry in the washer and she let them have it. You know what I’m talking about, right? The guilt trip. It wasn’t intentional, but when she made them walk the two blocks instead of driving them like she was going to, I knew how that walk was going to go.

I’ve done it many, many times. So have my sisters. This is a general breakdown of how it would transpire.

  1. Mom almost has a nervous breakdown, because she finally realizes that she has the laziest kids in all the land.
  2. She tells us between sobs that it’s her fault for not wanting us to have the same hard childhood that she had.
  3. My sisters and I would leave the house to avoid eye contact with her, because we were so ashamed of ourselves.
  4. We would start cry-walking, while telling each other how horrible we are to our mother. A mother who sacrificed everything for her children.
  5. We make promises of dutiful servitude to help her out.
  6. We start working around the house, hugging Mom any time she came within reach of us.
  7. The short term memory fairy pays us a visit each night, until we completely forget what happened.
  8. Repeat.

This isn’t me, but it sure could have been with that outfit.

In the end, everyone is going to think that their kids are the laziest ever, but I guarantee that they don’t even deserve to hold my beer when it comes to being a lazy kid.

Who am I kidding? I’m probably lazier now, it’s just that nobody else is going to do the work for me.

photo credit

About ChrisBird

A self proclaimed "free thinker", Chris has spent most of his life doing what he wants. He wears lovely velour shirts at will, and he rarely brushes his teeth. If you find something at a thrift store that you feel needs to be modelled, please let him know, and he will tell you where to send it. When he is not being whimsical, he can be found in “The Cocoon” with his forgiving wife, and his dog Blue. Well, except for when it’s time for romance, that’s when Blue has to skedaddle. You only make that mistake once. He can be found at Change The Topic, on the ultra-cool Google+, The Twitter, and sadly, Facebook.


  1. Katy Anders says:

    I filled out my name, email, website, did the math problem, and added my twitter name and then forgot what I was going to say in my comment.

    I wish my kids did stuff like that for me: Remembered what i was about to say, made sure the remote remained within 5 feet of me at all times, called to make doctor’s appointments for me, etc.

    Kids should be more like really good secretary’s who can’t quit.

    And who work for free.

    What would that be called?

    Twitter Name:

Speak Your Mind