You’re An Adult So Start Texting Like It

I had a text conversation today.

It was actually a conglomeration of text conversations from several people so that my friends who text like that can pretend that it’s not about them.

It’s totally about them. Every goddamn one of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, and just because they do things that annoy the shit out of me once in a while, doesn’t mean that I think any less of them as human beings. If that were the case, they would have disowned my ass years ago, as I’m one of the most aggravating pricks around. Everyone has that thing that bugs someone else, but I have at least a dozen.

This is one of the things that bugs me.


Me: Hey, what are you guys doing on the 15th?

Mixture of friends: Fck all. Sup wit u?

Me: I was going to see if you wanted to go camping. Are you down with that? I have my 145 piece camping set.

MOF: ? wats dat???

Me: A sleeping bag and a gross of rubbers.

MOF: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ur gon camping? Got no tent, but ya ill go. DRUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNKKK!

Me: Yeah, we’ll tie one on for sure. I’ve got an extra tent, so no problem there. I’ve got all of the cooking gear too. 

MOF: Cool tks for da invite.

Me: No worries. It’ll be a blast.

MOF: Fck ya!

Me: Fuck me?

MOF: ???

Me: Never mind. Ttyl.



Now, I should mention that it isn’t the acronyms that bother me. LOL, TTYL, etc… are understandable. They cut down entire phrases into a few letters and when the limit was 160 characters and you had to pay per text, that made a big difference.

What makes me mad is dropping a letter or two from a word to make it shorter. Is it that much easier to type “da” instead of “the”?

Oh, and what the fuck does “kk” stand for? That drives me bonkers. They tell me it means “okay”, but there has to be something else to it. I mean really, if you’re going to type kk, why wouldn’t you just throw the “o” in there? It’s not like it’s saving you a character. How did this even come to exist anyhow? Was it some lazy idiot that just couldn’t bring himself to move his thumb diagonally one character? He probably sent it to his pinhead friend who thought it was cool, because now he doesn’t have to move his thumb at all.

And the asshole trend was born.

So, are you an asshole or someone who texts with a sense of pride?

About ChrisBird

A self proclaimed "free thinker", Chris has spent most of his life doing what he wants. He wears lovely velour shirts at will, and he rarely brushes his teeth. If you find something at a thrift store that you feel needs to be modelled, please let him know, and he will tell you where to send it. When he is not being whimsical, he can be found in “The Cocoon” with his forgiving wife, and his dog Blue. Well, except for when it’s time for romance, that’s when Blue has to skedaddle. You only make that mistake once. He can be found at Change The Topic, on the ultra-cool Google+, The Twitter, and sadly, Facebook.


  1. Catherine says:

    OMG – beautiful – that’s all I can say

  2. Niki Gee says:

    I love this, because its so very true. However, I now feel the need to go thru (eat it, I still use that one) every piece of correspondence I have sent to you.

  3. I am a stickler for grammar and punctuation in my texts! I have some friends who are younger that text like assholes. It reminds me that I’m too old to hang out with children.

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