How to Go From a 6 to 8 in Hotness

I’m about to change your life.

Now, that’s a pretty bold claim. You are right to doubt.

There’s a lot of sixes out there that have bumped themselves up to eights. With one simple move.

Cosmetics? Liposuction? Facial reconstructive surgery? Nope.

Wearing sunglasses makes you instantly hotter. Two points, to be accurate.

How does this work?

A pair of Oakleys does something critical to a bump up your sexy – it divides the face into thirds. This is important because we men can’t see your full face and make an complete judgment. We’re missing the middle bit which is critical to this assessment. So, is it what’s under the sunglasses that’s important? No.

I have never paid attention to a woman’s eyes even when looking right into them. I’m not kidding by saying that I can’t tell you the color of my mother’s eyes, my current girlfriend’s eyes, nor my ex-wife’s. None of them were green, but that’s all I say with confidence. So, if we don’t care about what sunglasses are hiding, why does this make women hotter?

Let’s start with the bottom third of the face – the lips, lower cheek and chin. Every woman looks awesome when you view this area alone. Even if you have gross little lizard lips, by itself, they look hot and loaded with collagen. Look, I can’t explain it any more than I can explain how Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. But, he made that fucker disappear. In the same right, your lower third looks perfect on its own.

Now, the top third – the forehead. Not much to say here. Every forehead is the same.

The middle third, what you can see with sunglasses on, is simply the nose. Every nose, by itself, is the perfect size and shape.

My observation is that by breaking up the face into sections, all sections look good independently. This creates a lot of checkmarks in the “hot” column. When sunglasses are removed, we see the full picture. Does the forehead clash with the lower chin? What kind of symmetry are we seeing here? Ooh, that one cheekbone is slightly jacked – look at how it’s too close to the nose. Offensive!

When you see the totality of a face all at once, all bets are off. You are what you are. Maybe a seven. Maybe lower. When a face is broken up into thirds, each third will come out hotter than if you saw the whole thing at once. It’s just science.

When you add a hat like this, you actually go from a six to a nine. An extra point!

photo credit: NYCArthur via photo pin cc

About D.J. Paris


  1. Kate Hall says:

    I read this in my email and didn’t see your name, but KNEW it was you by your writing. I thought, this sounds like DJ. Bingo! And this is why my avi is a picture of me wearing glasses. 2 points!

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