Everything You Need to Know in Life you Can Learn from Dogs

Me? ME? Certainly not. It was the…dog.

I’m a dog person. Scratch that, I’m the Crazy Dog Lady. I’ve often maintained I like dogs more than people.

WHAT? It’s true. I have good reasons for this, naturally. You can learn everything you need to know in life from dogs.

Like how to act like decent human beings. Don’t believe me? I’ve prepared a short list of dog communication that could teach you something about your human life. You know, for you to ponder in all your spare time.

 

 

Dog communication: I’m always happy to see my people. I’m pretty much happy to see any people, it turns out.

Human translation: Unconditional love, my friends.

Dog communication: You’ve only been gone for five minutes but gosh darn it, I’m going to love on you like you’ve been gone for days!
Human translation: Life is short. Make the most of the time you’ve got.

Dog communication: My human could forget to feed me and trip over me while stepping on my paw and I STILL recover in two-point-two seconds and want the human to scratch mah bellah anyway.
Human translation: Don’t hold grudges. Live and let live. Turn the other cheek.

Dog communication: You don’t look fat in that dress. YOU LOOK MAHVELOUS!
Human translation: Who cares what you look like? What’s on the inside is what matters most. And the inside is SUPER AWESOME!

Dog communication: MUST PROTECT HOME FROM POSTAL INVASIONS.
Human trait: Ummm…bills come in the mail and bills are bad? I’ve got nothin’ on this one.

Dog communication: IMA stick by you always, I’m your loyal and loving friend! I’ll do stupid pet tricks when you have dinner guests! As long as you feed me and walk me.
Human translation: Relationships are a two-way street. You get what you give.

Dog communication: I’ll sit. I’ll shake paws. I’ll lie down. I’ll play dead. Now give me that treat, darn it, this is embarrassing.
Human translation: If a dog with a brain the size of a walnut can learn manners, so can you. Stop being rude, you entitled brat.

Dog communication: WOOOOO EEEEEEEE. I don’t know what that smell is but IMA sit here and look all innocent and stuff and pretend it wasn’t me.
Human translation: Even dogs blame other dogs for farts.

About Marj Hatzell

Marj Hatzell climbed Mount Everest, explored the Amazon and swam across the English Channel. Not really, but she's the mother of two kids with special needs so SAME THING. She prefers dogs over people, which means she has STELLAR social skills. Marj isn't a writer but she plays one on tv. Marj also goes to eleven. You can find her at her non-paying day job, the wildly unsuccessful blog The Domestic Goddess, on Twitter, and on Facebook. She also has a not-so-new and definitely-not-successful-and-ignored blog at The Crazy Dog Lady and Facebook page no one visits.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] the holidays flies over my head.  I’m more of the vein who Aims Low (like that little shout-out to this groovy site, editors?? ;) ). Come Christmas season, mediocrity isn’t even the name of the game.  Oh no, [...]

  2. [...] begin with Kay. December 23, 2013 by Cha Cha • Leave a Comment My husband proposed in front of a dog-doo sanitation unit. You know, the little stand they have in parks and on trails, with baggies and a trash can [...]

Speak Your Mind

*