My husband proposed in front of a dog-doo sanitation unit. You know, the little stand they have in parks and on trails, with baggies and a trash can where you can stow poo? Yeah. He didn’t mean to, but when he got down on 1 knee along the trail where we had our first date, the doggie-doo unit was right behind him.
I thought it was perfect.
So, take it with a grain of salt when I tell you that all those jewelry ads are full of shit.
At this point, just a few days before Christmas? I pretty much have a seizure any time a jewelry ad comes on the teevee. Guys? No woman ever gushes, “He went to JARED” in real life … not unless she is being snarky or otherwise hateful. No woman wants to be proposed to inside the mall jewelry store (Kay Jewelers’ marketing team: That was the best you could come up with? Must’ve been a really limited budget, huh?)
And then there’s the ad where the dude proposes on an airplane. An airplane with a clean, spacious aisle and no crowding. An airplane the likes of which does not exist in reality. I think we can all agree that proposing on a plane is on par with proposing in a Trailways bus terminal bathroom. I hope the ring comes with Lysol wipes.
And yes, this is coming from a woman who gladly giggled “Yes!” to a proposal in front of a doggie-doo station. I know. But outside has air, and it’s not like my beloved was leaning over the poo unit. The doo was just in the background, as a helpful landmark.
So, listen. If you are absolutely compelled to get engaged around the holidays, don’t watch teevee for helpful hints. Don’t go looking for an audience. Find someplace that’s special to the 2 of you and put your heart on the line.
And if that location happens to prominently feature dog shit? No judgment. Trust me – it’s better than a mall jewelry store.