Every kiss doesn’t begin with Kay.

My husband proposed in front of a dog-doo sanitation unit. You know, the little stand they have in parks and on trails, with baggies and a trash can where you can stow poo? Yeah. He didn’t mean to, but when he got down on 1 knee along the trail where we had our first date, the doggie-doo unit was right behind him.

I thought it was perfect.

So, take it with a grain of salt when I tell you that all those jewelry ads are full of shit.

At this point, just a few days before Christmas? I pretty much have a seizure any time a jewelry ad comes on the teevee. Guys? No woman ever gushes, “He went to JARED” in real life … not unless she is being snarky or otherwise hateful. No woman wants to be proposed to inside the mall jewelry store (Kay Jewelers’ marketing team: That was the best you could come up with? Must’ve been a really limited budget, huh?)

And then there’s the ad where the dude proposes on an airplane. An airplane with a clean, spacious aisle and no crowding. An airplane the likes of which does not exist in reality. I think we can all agree that proposing on a plane is on par with proposing in a Trailways bus terminal bathroom. I hope the ring comes with Lysol wipes.

And yes, this is coming from a woman who gladly giggled “Yes!” to a proposal in front of a doggie-doo station. I know. But outside has air, and it’s not like my beloved was leaning over the poo unit. The doo was just in the background, as a helpful landmark.

So, listen. If you are absolutely compelled to get engaged around the holidays, don’t watch teevee for helpful hints. Don’t go looking for an audience. Find someplace that’s special to the 2 of you and put your heart on the line.

And if that location happens to prominently feature dog shit? No judgment. Trust me – it’s better than a mall jewelry store.

About Cha Cha

Cha Cha is Becky Brown. She runs her mouth at noodleroux, where you can find her talking about dogs, boobs, and whatever else is rumbling around her scary little brain. A small-town girl turned city woman, Cha Cha still can’t parallel park. However, she can write and edit and manages to make a living doing that instead. She likes her husband and dropping the f-bomb, because both of them make her feel awesome.

Comments

  1. Erin P says:

    I’ve been saying all season that those 2 engagement ring commercials are so totally unrealistic! I won’t get into the reasons now cause I could write a whole blog post on them alone, I tend to ramble when I write to get my point across. See, I’m doing it already! All I can say is when my engagement ring next comes it better not appear in mid air on a funky airplane or in the jewelry store; cause like how over confident/ego inflated are ya?!?!

    At least your engagement was actually in person when you said yes…
    The 1st time my ex kind of proposed he was getting ready to go to Boot Camp for the Marine Corps & we had gone out for dinner and a movie and stopped to walk around a park before going home. We were sitting down talking holding hands whatever & next thing I know there’s a ring in my hand, at that point in life I was no where near ready to be engaged to get married I was still in college & we were mostly on shaky ground and not even living in the same state this was almost 3 years before I basically finally agreed to get married. Not afraid to admit it at this point, yes I loved him & was in love but I don’t think it was the right time for us to get married, I doubt any time would have or ever be right. Pretty sure I basically settled & did it just to shut him up and make him happy before he left for his 2nd deployment. I was still in college when we got married(in a secret private ceremony in a park with our parents & siblings) & I played off married as engaged until we had an actual wedding & reception a year and half later after I was finished with college. See, I babble. Multiply the length of my engagement story by about 2 & that would add to the length of this comment before I even got to my personal story.
    I better end now before the comment ends up as long as the article ;)
    Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to you and yours!!

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  2. Average Jane says:

    My husband proposed to me in the parking lot of Bagel & Bagel (now known as Einstein Bros. Bagels). I saw it coming a mile away because he can’t keep a secret for five seconds, but it was very sweet. Also, we had already made plans to get married by then, so this was just the, “Hey, I’m also giving you an engagement ring,” part of the equation.

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