A Public Service Announcement From A Southern Curmudgeon

At the risk of developing a reputation for being the new ladybit-specific AL contributor, I’m going to break a cardinal rule and sub-blog. Yeah, I may have just made up that term. Deal with it. You know, like a sub-tweet, where it’s directed at a certain person (or people) but tact prevents you from specifically calling that person out on whatever they’ve done? Uh huh. CURSE YOU, tact and southern upbringing!

Lately, I’ve noticed that the Twitter is being used as a search engine. Meaning, I’ve seen things where I’m convinced that people are Tweeting things thinking that they’re Googling them. That’s the only logical reason for some of these things I’m seeing. I’m not a squeamish gal. Clearly. Maybe this just has to do with my ever-growing curmudgeon attitude about the lack of tact and manners in today’s society, but dammit, this has gone TOO far.

So you’ve got a question. You need to ask a neutral party for advice because you don’t have friends you can ask certain sorts of questions. Fantastic. Twitter is a great source of information. BUT.

If it involves polling the crowd about something weird that’s going on with YOUR specific naughty bits, or even worse, your CHILD’S private parts (I’m not even going to touch those red flags with a ten foot pole, yet I’ve seen it)….keep it to a DM. Or perhaps an email? Private Facebook message. A carrier pigeon. Telegram. Or better yet? A doctor, even Dr. Google. I’ll save you time-WebMD will say it’s cancer. You’re welcome. Something, anything, besides subjecting your entire follower list to your current ailment.

Public Twitter is not the place to ask for advice for certain things. Period. End of story. Do these people realize that their tweets are going to the Library of Congress? That they will forever be on record asking if shoving garlic cloves up your hoo-hah is a safe and effective treatment for a yeast infection?

Apparently not. Thanks for that. Now you will forever be known as Lady Roast and I can’t erase that association EVAR. Am I a mean girl for making that name up? Maybe, but you are also mean for subjecting me to your personal problems when all I’m trying to do is read my timeline and learn about current events, bacon, and coffee.

(Side note before any crunchy anti-doctor people attack me for this: I read up on the situation, and if you guys want to keep on with that, keep on keepin’ on.)

(Second side note: the compulsive need to research is my curse for being a trained scientist, amirite?)

So, please, please. Think before you Tweet. Consider your question and pose it in the proper forum.

::::The mooooorrrrrre yooooouuuuu knooooowwwww::::

About LindsayM

Lindsay Maloan is a Jill of All Trades. She can take purty pictures, arrange the snot out of some flowers, sew a dinosaur hoodie for your wee T-Rex, and she knows most of the words to “Baby Got Back.” If you are lost in the woods, Lindsay won’t help you survive, but she can name the tree you lay down to die under. A former zookeeper and current public servant, she’s familiar with all the stops on the crazy train. A good thing, too, considering she’s got twin girls baking in the old lovin’ oven. She lives in New Orleans with her husband, preschooler son, and dogs. You can find more of her many words and deeds on her blog, With A Little Love and Luck.


  1. Chris Bird says:

    Soooo, what was the verdict on the garlic? Will it work for polyps as well?

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  2. Can you cure my foot fungus? My shoes smell like I’ve got a sourdough loaf baking in there.

    Anyone? Anyone? #footfungus

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