Just your average weekday afternoon with a looming post deadline. I can DO THIS. I can write my post for Aiming Low. No sweat.
I’m pretending my daughter is napping and have ALL THE PLAYDOH strewn out across our dining room table for my son. It should keep him busy for at least 8 minutes. And then he can listen to me curse Playdoh under my breathe for a half hour later while I try to clean it all up. I’m set.
Let me just take a few swigs of my Diet Coke for liquid stamina and shift the laptop a smidgen over to the left so the ginormous pile of paperwork I’ve been ignoring isn’t glaring me directly in the eye while I try to type.
Now I’ll call up that fantabulous post idea I had this morning in the shower and then dig right in. The only problem is that I can’t quite remember what that idea was. Darn me for not thinking to take paper in with me. When will I learn?
The trouble is I have so much to cover mentally while enjoying my 1 minute and 30 second shower break. It’s a lot to jam in. In addition to planning my outfit for the day, I have to take advantage of the time to chuckle over the latest witty thing I heard Mindy Kaling say in an interview and then fantasize about maybe putting the kids to bed early tonight so I can sneak in the latest episode of Revenge. This won’t happen, but a Mama’s gotta have dreams, right?
In any case, I did have an idea for this post, and it was super. Was probably something about my kids, since I seem to write about them a lot. Or my husband. Or the dog. Or my obsession with online shopping. After a while, it’s all the same thing, really.
TOTAL MENTAL FOG. Also, I am feeling sulky because only a handful of people have liked my brilliantly funny latest Facebook post. What is wrong with people? And how can anyone be expected to produce quality content in these harsh conditions?
Right. I simply cannot write the post. Will have to let Anissa fire me and wait for the next coolest site ever to come along and accept me into their fold. It should only take another 5 years or so. Or never.
You’ll excuse me while I go hyperventilate into a paper bag over potentially blowing an awesome opportunity and madly beat my head against the wall in an attempt to pound some coherent thoughts into it. In the meantime, hope you find an actual post to read somewhere. Totally blows when you were expecting something good and those darn authors just can’t get their crap together.