Broccoli Versus Kale: It’s On

Image via the New York Times

Last week, I read an article in the New York Times (a six page article, mind you) about a new mock advertising campaign created by the agency Victor & Spoils, trying to get people to eat more broccoli. Apparently, broccoli is being shunned by the hipster generation for being “brown, squishy, and smelly.” Also, it makes you fart.

So how do you get these ironically nerdy folks to buy broccoli?

Negative campaigning.

That’s right. The good people at Victor & Spoils have decided to go negative in their imaginary broccoli campaign. And who have they chosen to be broccoli’s target?


Oh yeah, broccoli asked spinach to hold its earrings, walked up to kale, and smacked the shit out of them. It’s pretty awesome.

Being a both a big broccoli fan and someone who loves to make fun of kale, I have decided to enter the fray for Team Broccoli. Here are a few ads I created to try to knock kale down to the mat and step on it’s green, leafy, hipster face.



About MeredithB

Meredith lives in Seattle, WA where she does mediocre writing and mildly offensive parenting. She writes the funny on her blog, Pile of Babies ( and as a staff writer at Aiming Low (


  1. Fiona says:

    I told my kids that broccoli was little trees. They play with their food. Then eat it. Score: Broccoli=2, Kale =0.

    • Meredith Bland says:

      That is genius. And beans can be little boats full of people, and lettuce leaves can be the land they are sailing for in search of religious freedom.

  2. ChrisBird says:

    I tried Kale chips last week and they’re way better than non existent broccoli chips. Also, my mother never tried to disguise Kale in cheese sauce. Take that, broccoli.

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    • Meredith Bland says:

      Oh, I am going to go out and make the first broccoli chip. And then the world will say, “why did you make broccoli chips?”

      Also, the fact that kale is incompatible with cheese is a strong minus.

      Winner: still broccoli.

  3. Linda says:

    Bush didn’t like broccoli. That’s all I need to know to get me to sidle up to a plate of the stuff. Really though, I like broccoli. But if they want to turn people off to it, they should do an ad campaign featuring the CEO’s of Lululemon and Abercrombie and put some on a plate filled with Barilla pasta. See ya later, broccoli.

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