Are Relationships All We Have?

One of my friends, named Hungry Joe, died about a year ago.

He was one of the most brilliant (maybe the) men I have ever met. He was afflicted, most likely, with Aspergers. He had a difficult time communicating except through metaphor. For years (and I mean over a dozen), he slept on rooftops in Chicago without a real home.

Joe had translated, individually, each word of the New Testament from the original Greek text. He was convinced that all the previous scholars had got a bunch of important stuff wrong. A theologian put Joe’s life’s work out to the academic community and nobody could critique it because they couldn’t find anyone with the appropriate knowledge.

I remember him telling me once about the nature of God. He said, “I have a hard time envisioning a God looking down from above, omnipotent. It just doesn’t make sense to me. There’s too much bad crap out there.”

“…but… where I can see God, right here and now, is in between two people who love each other. There is magic standing in front of human relationships and it’s visible and crackles with life. That is God, and it makes sense to me.”

That is the single greatest piece I had ever heard – and I didn’t even take to the religious angle. Whether God is real or not, there is undeniably magic between two people who love each other.

When I reflect on what is ultimately important in my life I often think about relationships. People who have been there when I reached out. Just tonight a friend who is struggling thanked me for being present for her.

Maybe all we really have are relationships.

If I want to participate in life, all I have is the present. Because my memory sucks I can’t go back so I must try harder to be there when things are happening. Being present has been the key to developing intimacy in my relationships. I went from never sharing my truth with people to having a core group who regularly talk about the hard shit. It’s scary, but it builds the relationship into something deeper and more fulfilling.

And the currency of relationships is intimacy, I believe.

Since intimacy is all about sharing what’s hard, being present is essential. Trust is essential. So is safety. These are all earned through risk. Do I trust this person enough to share what might get them to run away? Or worse, they could stay and hurt me. It happens. Mostly, if you’ve developed strong boundaries, you share with appropriate people. Intimacy grows and the relationships bond tighter.

If God is nothing but what’s between two people, then I can see it. There’s sparks that fly when we’re vulnerable, honest, loyal, and present.

photo credit: DimitraTzanos via photopin cc

About D.J. Paris


  1. Arbine says:

    I love this. Such a beautiful piece.

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  2. Very true, in my humble opinion. I try to remember this when workaholism and other shizz gets in the way.

  3. This is beautiful. There is a sacredness in relationships–not just those of the traditional love/romance. Thank you for sharing this–a delightful glimpse of intimacy

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  4. beautifully crafted piece. really loved reading this!

  5. Linda says:

    I really like this piece, DJ. Well done. Really poignant.

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  6. JW says:

    I tried to read the bible that way once. Did he post his translation out there for us to get to see? What an amazing achievement that was. The other stuff, the meaning of this post is very profound.

  7. This was so beautifully written that I want more on what Joe wrote. I am happy that I could share this on my Facebook page.
    Thank you for sharing this with us all.
    Much light and love

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  8. Added my twitter name here too.

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