Okay, watch this shit, but be warned that there is swearing in it.
Notice anything strange about this video?
You didn’t think it was odd that she is wearing a pink hoodie with gray slacks?
I could tell she was crazy by the jaguar roar and shit, but I didn’t think she’d go so far as to dress like that. Not in public anyhow. Unless maybe her ultimate form is way bigger than the one she had in the drive-thru.
Seriously though. She’s gotta be mentally ill, right? That can’t be from drugs, can it? If so, I am going to have to seriously rethink my biweekly use of gateway cookies, brownies, and other assorted baked goods. Not because I don’t want to flip out at McDonalds, but because there isn’t a high school student that works there that couldn’t whip my ass in a fight.
I’m also pretty sure that the old dolls that work the morning shift during the week would also kick the piss out of me, but they would do it with a sweet and kindly smile on their face.
Me: “I will eat your fucking face and I’m going to digest it.”
Granny (climbing through the window): “Well someone sure needs to be taught their manners again.”
Me: “Don’t make me assume my ultimate form…”
Granny (as she spanks my bare ass in front of dozens of customers): Well, if your ultimate form is a spoiled, crying child, then I would say you have achieved it. Did no one ever tell you not to assume things? It’s because it makes an ass out of u and me. Now you had better get home before I call your nana.”
Me: “I’m going. I’m really sorry. I will pay for any damages.”
Granny: “Don’t you worry about that; my knuckles will heal. You just mind how you speak to people from now on.”
Me: “Yes ma’am. I will.”
That’s how I see it ending, so I’m going to continue my current habit of not even complaining when they shaft me on what I ordered and giving them five dollar tips while begging for them to not hit me. Hey, it’s been working so far, so I don’t think of it as cowardice.