Dear People

Every so often I post a Dear People thing on my blog, because over time, my curiousity (or irritation) accumulates in what I see out in the world. Here’s my current noticables:

Dear Front Office Person, Customer Service Person, Person Selling Me Food,

Is it possible that someone who is servicing me could not chew gum. What? Did you call each other and tell the next person it will drive me insane? Stop that. Immediately.

Sincerely,

Julia

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Dear Children,

Why must you make me say these words, every single day?

Please pick up your shoes and backpack and put them where they belong. 

Love,

Mom

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Dear Some Miss America Contestants,

Please eat a sandwich, I worry about you collapsing.

Love,

Julia

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Dear Georgia Drivers,

Please use your blinkers to turn when you are driving.

Sincerely,

A driver behind you

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Dear Lucy, The Wonder Dog,

I know you’re old, but the heavy breathing and hacking up phelgm is irritating. Do it in another room.

Love,

Your mom

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Dear Vacation,

You seem so far away even though I just saw you in July.

Love,

Someone tired

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Dear Facebook and Twitter,

I’m sorry, I need a break.

It’s you, not me.

Love,

An obsessed user

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Dear Magical Algorithm Unicorns,

Quit showing me my favorite five Modcloth dresses over and over. And over.

Oh wait, my FOUR favorite dresses. I just bought one. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Predictable Online Shopper

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Dear Carmakers,

You made a headlight that costs $1500 to replace?

I hate you.

Not warmly ever,

Julia

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Dear West Wing,

I hate that you ever were canceled.

I love you forever, like you for always, as long as I’m living…

Julia

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Dear Newsroom,

At least I have you if I have to suffer without The West Wing.

Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I’m living…

Julia

 

About Julia Roberts

Laughing at raising your two kids with special needs is frowned upon in certain circles, you know? Like Grandma and Grandpa find it especially annoying. Blogging since 2005 at Kidneys and Eyes and co-founder of a social networking site, Support for Special Needs, she stays pretty busy working in her business with her husband (yeah, they're crazy) and insurance receipts. A night owl, Diet Coke lover, and vintage photo collector she hopes to raise advocates and activists.

Comments

  1. 1- dont think you can escape twitter and facebook
    2-yes BRING BACK WEST WING
    3- wish i had cable for Newsroom…someday (read: after student loans come in)

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  2. Claire says:

    I think some of the ladies of Miss America need another note:

    Dear Some Miss America Contestants,

    I’m pretty sure that the word “talent” in the phrase “Talent Competition” was not meant ironically. Please stop.

    Love,
    My Bleeding Ears

    And I, too, miss West Wing and love having Newsroom to fill that void.

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