I’m as spiritual as the next new-ager, but I’m struggling with the life charge to find and live as your “authentic self.” For my non-spirit-seeking friends that means, dig deep inside, find your ugly truths and live them. To take it further; outer reality is illusion and only what we know and feel inside, is real. But that’s a tangent.
The pay-off is to live a life of intermittent bliss because you find and meet your needs with commitment. It can be a life of ultimate satisfaction because you do what you really want to do, and you don’t do what you really don’t want to do. Authentic life people don’t ask for your opinion much because frankly, they are not operating for social approval and comment. In short, they don’t give a shit what you think.
So here’s the art in my struggle. My authentic self seems to have multiple personalities. Let’s label them with letters. I can’t think of cute names.
Authentic Me A- loves the arts, live theater, symphony, jazz, R&B, light rock, comedy shows, and the night life.
Authentic Me B- loves to have time to myself driving through the mountains, past the ocean or around the wine country, loving nature with no one to ruin it with, well… talking or sharing the air in the car.
Authentic Me C- loves, loves spending time with the lush man, laughing, talking, having a fine meal or a good wine and feeling the warm calm of being with that wonderful man.
Authentic Me D- loves the angst of working on my second book, loves the mental contortions and feeling of failure that gives the process drama and richness.
Authentic Me E- you get the picture.
With all due respect to my spirit guides, this authentic-thing is tough. For a journey to inner peace it sure as hell troubles the soul.
Maybe the Authentic Self is made up of the many pieces of ourselves accumulated over time and life. Change and pain have rounded some rough edges and refined our choices and tastes. But if life is altering what we want; have we then lost our inner truth, i.e. authenticity?
And are these rhetorical questions a bit too irritating to ponder? It could be that the best way to be authentic is to know when to embrace your truth and when to fall into the ignorant bliss of superficial conformity for a break from deep thinking… a cave of ignorance for a mental vacay. I think all of my Authentic Selves, with the exception of B, would like this.
About the Author:
Myra is a native of the San Francisco Bay Area with colorful Louisiana Creole roots. She began writing stories as soon as she was able to master the big pencil and wide lines. For more than two decades she has written television news stories, speeches for elected officials and CEOs, articles and news releases for a variety of industries. She is currently a PR exec in Silicon Valley. Her first novel, Pushed Times, Chewing Pepper, is available on amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, iTunes and booklocker.com. Her site is: http://myrawritesback.