A Scary Story and a Mazda Test Drive

This is a true story, mostly about how clueless I can be sometimes, but a true story nonetheless.

It was a Thursday morning and I was coming home from working out. When I pulled up to my house there was a car in my driveway. It was a strange car with Michigan plates. I wasn’t expecting company.

It was a pretty liquid silver Mazda 5. I don’t know anyone from Michigan that drives a silver Mazda 5.

There was nobody in the car.

I started to get nervous. Was somebody in my house?

I texted my cleaning service: “Are you at my house today?” She has a blue Mazda. Maybe she got a newer one. But it wasn’t her day to be here and she lives in Virginia. My neighbor uses the same lady, so I texted her thinking, maybe they parked in my driveway because Lesley’s driveway was blocked. “Is Katerina at your house today?” I texted my husband “Is somebody coming over? Did we schedule something today? There is a strange car in our driveway and I am freaked out.” But no, no response. I didn’t see Katerina anywhere.

I decided to go inside. I opened the door slowly and yelled inside my house “HELLO? IS ANYBODY HERE?” Then I sort of tiptoed in.

I am telling you people right now that I was scared. I considered grabbing a knife out of the drawer, but I’ve seen horror movies. That never ends well. Instead I both kept yelling  ”IS THERE ANYONE IN HERE?” and sneaking around corners. Yes I see the irony. I am not good at subterfuge.

Just then my phone rang. I am not lying when I tell you I half expected the call to be COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE, but it was my husband. “The calendar says ‘Mazda delivery’. Are you supposed to be doing a review or something?”



The review car. Sure. I totally remembered that.

Once I calmed down I checked out the car. It really was pretty, and it was cool. On the outside it looked like a short SUV but the inside was setup like a minivan. Ah Mazda. I see what you did here. You gave us all of the conveniences of a minivan without the stigma. We appreciate that. We really do.

The Mazda 5 gets really good gas mileage. I know, because I tried to use up the free tank of gas in the five days I drove it, but I didn’t even get it down to a quarter of a tank. Granted, most of my appointments that week were pretty close to home, but still. I tried.

My real favorite part is the optional third row. If you have the third row in there isn’t a ton of room in the trunk, but enough for a quick trip to the store.

Plenty of room for my 12 of Sierra Nevada. I have priorities people.

But if you are buying a lot of groceries, no problem. These seat fold down.

And unlike my former minivan, these seats are incredibly easy to fold up and down.

Oh! I should do my nails like that again. That looked cool.

I liked like car. Nothing fancy, but it handled pretty well and got excellent gas mileage. I wasn’t impressed with the pickup but I assume you can upgrade the engine. These start at $19,940 and that is a kick ass deal for a seven passenger car. The one I drove priced out at about $25,000 new and anyone who has recently priced a Honda Odyssey or a Toyota Sienna recently knows you can’t touch a new one of those for under $26,o00.

It was a good test drive but to be honest, mostly I am still just happy that nobody was in my house.

About Goon Squad Sarah

Goon Squad Sarah rocks the mic like a vandal.

Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad, Draft Day Suit, That's Right. You Heard Me.,on twitter @goonsquadsarah or yelling at her TV.


  1. Janet says:

    It looks so small in the photo. I would never have guessed it seats 7. I know how I drive so I’ve never even considered an SUV but this one looks a little closer to the ground, which is nice.

    Also glad there were no knife-wielding Mazda drivers in your house.

  2. I love that you were able to fit the 12 of Sierra with the groceries. If I had been forced to choose I would have picked the Sierra too.

    Twitter Name:

Speak Your Mind