Abercrombie’s a Bitch

Have you heard? About the XXL controversy stirred up by Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries in his 2006 interview with Salon Magazine?

It’s recently resurfaced and in it, Jeffries explains why his company won’t sell clothes larger than size 10, saying that plus size people are just “not cool” enough to wear A & F duds.


Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries

Jeffries is an over middle aged Ken doll cum collegiate Aryan douche canoe of such epic proportions, he could constitute an entire rowing team by himself. He’s apparently set up some kind of corporate summer camp style headquarters in Ohio where everyone is beautiful, fit and clad in torn jeans, flip flops and muscle T’s.


Willie Wanker’s perfectly proportioned Oompa Loompas

Dude, (a word he espouses on a regular basis) is a mean girl with a brat frat attitude and balls much too big to fit in those ultra snug torn jeans he’s sportin’.

Backlash? You bet! There’s been plenty of it; especially from the likes of Kirstie Alley and a movement encouraging people to donate their “cool” threads to the homeless.

It would seem there would be nothing cooler than the panhandler on the corner of Bleecker and Broadway modeling an A & F hoodie just to stick it to The Man. Except…I sorta hope he’d just tell them to stick it since it’s kinda like Seinfeld’s muffin bottoms. “What? You think we’re not good enough for the tops?” “Ooooh! If there’s a controversy y’all are gonna hand over your fifty dollar t shirts to the homeless guy?”  I hope it’s just a statement about universal worthiness.

But let’s get back to slamming the ass hat in the cargo shorts, shall we?

He actually “candidly” admitted that Abercrombie and their sister company Hollister go after “the cool kids”.

Not cool Dude. Not cool.

So he did what any corporate CEO would do in the face of stocks dropping faster than pigeon waste in Central Park after a tourist feeding frenzy – he begrudgingly and insincerely apologized. That is…he attempted to. Sort of. Jeffries stated that his “choice of words was interpreted in a manner that caused offense.”

Oh. So you mean that we just misinterpreted what you said? Ohhhhh! That’s different! Please, oh please explain to me how we misinterpreted that fat people are considered uncool and therefore unworthy of your amazingly adorned threads because I don’t care what context you put it in, it comes out to the same nasty bullshit. He does admit to “marketing to a particular segment of customers” and goes on to suggest that sex appeal “…[is] everything. That’s why we hire good looking people in our stores. Because good looking people attract other good looking people and we want to market to cool, good looking people. We don’t want to market to anyone other than that.

Ladies and gentlemen, what to say while backtracking miserably.

I don’t know about you, but I’d like to acid wash Mr. Jeffries’ mouth out, the dope.

However you look at it, it’s not looking good.

About Linda Roy

Linda is a writer/musician with a Peter Pan Petty complex, a guitar toting husband, two boys and pug dependency issues. She’s grateful that the word “snark” has been introduced into the vernacular since people just used to know her as “the chick with the bad attitude”.  She feels strangely akin to Larry David and will criticize your parallel parking abilities to prove it. She blogs at elleroy was here and fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses.  She also writes at Lefty Pop and Funny Not Slutty. Connect with her on TwitterFacebook and Google+


  1. I hadn’t heard that he apologized. You are right. He really didn’t. The words got caught in his size 2 throat.

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  2. Stephanie says:

    Oh, okay! So rather than a real apology, he’ll just transfer blame onto those of us who took his We Hate Fat People campaign the wrong way? Sure, why not? If you’re a size 10 or up, you can’t possibly be intelligent enough to understand that his apology is his failed attempt at a veiled insult.

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  3. Meg says:

    And of course none of the unworthy plus sized are parents or grandparents of size 3 females either. Because we never spend money on our kids, right? Doucebag is too kind I think.

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  4. Tina says:

    Maybe he was high from breathing toxic fumes from that crap they call cologne?
    Yeah, that’s the ticket. It could account for the paralysis in his brain.
    Douchebag is way too kind, I agree.

  5. I hadn’t heard he’d (sort of) apologized either. I do wonder why this article resurfaced after 7 years, though. There’s always some kind of connection whenever that happens. But thanks for “slamming the ass hat in the cargo shorts.” Nice. ;)

  6. Shay says:

    “Jeffries is an over middle aged Ken doll cum collegiate Aryan douche canoe of such epic proportions, he could constitute an entire rowing team by himself.” OMG. Best.line.EVER.

  7. Slu says:

    Was not aware of this… Never been in an A & F store. And now, not that I would anyway, will never enter one. But, it’s a no brainer… apparently, they don’t have my size: ha!!!

  8. LM says:

    so that’s what’s behind the putrid blinds. I cross the mall when walking past this store because the fumes are noxious. Guess the company is just as unpleasant inside and out.

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  9. I'mbetterthanyou_69 says:

    He’s right, why should average looking people even be considered when it comes to dressing in nice expensive clothing. I think us good looking folks should live together in an island and look down on those below us.


  1. [...] people, right? Well, I’m giving him and his company’s marketing ethics what for over at Aiming Low. Why not click over and check it out…if you can tear yourself away from the photo above. [...]

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