Oh wow, was I ever dating.
I went out with groups of people, one-on-one dates, sometimes a few times, maybe just once and sometimes just as friends. Always. Dating.
As I am about to celebrate another year of marriage (I married #2 when I was 29) I am ever grateful that I had some therapy in between the first marriage and dating, which obviously led to my husband because it gave me some time to put me first, to put me and my needs and desires into the equation of my future. It led me to figure out that I had to love myself first before I moved on to love someone else.
Such a cliche, I know. Certifiable even.
That therapy was the best thing I did for my self in my 20s decade (behind leaving the guy who hit me the first time he hit me). It really made me think about what I wanted for my life at that time as well as in my future.
It helped me dichiper what I wanted as much as what I didn’t want for my life. My list for what I didn’t want in my life was pretty long. The list for what I did want was pretty simple.
I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin first, I wanted to love my life on my own, be by myself, be my own person. Just me.
Then I wanted someone who would be a true partner in every sense. I figured if they were a true partner they’d be honest, loving, responsible, giving, and a person who strives to care about others in the world. I wanted in someone what I wanted to be.
When I worked on those attributes in myself is when I stumbled upon those attributes in the man I call my true partner.