So, you’ve met this mom at 5:30 a.m. CardioPump, and she’s wicked funny and laughs endearingly with her hand over her mouth when the breast-implants-bought-on-a-girls-roadtrip-to-Mexico nasty neighbor up front hits herself in the face with the hand weights. When you see that your new crush’s travel mug reads, “Yeah. I said it. So What,” you fall even harder in love.
A match made in heaven, the kind of sisterbuddy you’ve been hoping for since you had kids and fell off the face of the earth. But there’s a problem, and it’s not a small one. Though you’ve mentally made your claim on her as your BFF, you still need to figure out how to let her know she wants to be your BFF right back.
This problem is more common than you think, and fixable–you just can’t let her see the tail wagging desperate puppy that lonely hours at home have turned you into.
First, you must establish an air of elusiveness; you know the adage “there’s always a hunter, and a hunted.” Put your hunted cap on and slip away quickly and mysteriously after class, let her wonder who that always-so-busy-with-important-things-to-do-at-6:30 a.m. woman is. She doesn’t need to know that you’re rushing home to put the darks in the dryer before they bleed into the washer tub.
Second, dial it down. Don’t laugh wild eyed and mouth agape, hands clapping, hyena screaming YOU’RE SO FUNNY! ala Tom Cruise to Conan O’Brien. A subtle, tight lipped snicker speaks volumes over any manic sofa-jumping antics. Really, could you handle the pain of your future BFF turning to you and saying, “Dude. It’s not that funny.”
Third, experiment with moving closer to your BFF-to-be while in class. Check her out. Be sure she’s the one for you. Loneliness and friendship starvation can make a tree look good, if it promised to talk back to you.
Lastly, as with all new things in life, there will be a learning curve. If your mom crush does return your interest in getting to know each other outside of class, remind yourself there will be an adjustment period as you do the Getting To Know You Dance. Some of your jokes will float her boat, some may only result in a polite smile back. That’s okay.
It takes 28 days to establish a new habit. And that includes her realizing you’re her new BFF. Stick with it–you’ll find her sweet spot–just that thing that will help her see what an awesome thing it would be to have you in her life.
And nothing puts that realization in faster gear than an offer to buy her a $6.00 double tall breve latte. But if she is just that awesome, no doubt in my mind that I’d offer her cake pops, too–as many as that adorable hand she giggled into can hold.