On Husbands and Alarm Clocks

So, what is it with husbands and alarm clocks? Specifically, husbands incessantly slapping the snooze button on said alarm clock? At least one of my friends has a husband who suffers from this same affliction (I know your dirty secret, Kev). Yes, I realize ladies are just as capable of this horrific habit. But I’m not concerned with ladies. I’m concerned with my husband and his alarm clock that won’t. stop. buzzing.

I have a few pet peeves. Unnecessary use of quotation marks, improper grammar, and people “axing” me questions, are just three. But, lately, my husband and his damn alarm clock is the pet peeve to end all pet peeves.

Take this morning, for instance. Baby wakes up cranky at 5 am. Momma grabs baby, brings her into (already crowded) bed and attempts to drift back into the land of leaping sheep. While everyone else sleeps peacefully, Momma stares at ceiling thinking about the three emails she should write when she gets up, taking mental notes, and making to-do lists (all of which will disappear from her brain before the next thought emerges from the depths of its little wrinkles). Just as Momma starts to drift to sleep, the bed suddenly feels as if it is the epicenter of a small earthquake. The world’s loudest vibrating phone is the cause.

Let me take a brief second from bitching to say that this obnoxious vibrating is actually because my dear husband is trying to be nice and has set the alarm on his phone to vibrate instead of setting his obnoxiously loud alarm clock. His thought is that it will wake him instead of the rest of the occupants of his bed. Mission: failed.

The stealthiest ninja could tiptoe outside my house and I guarantee I would jump up all momma bear-like, ready to attack any impending threat to my babies. So no. Putting your phone on vibrate is not helpful to me. I could deal with it once. I could even handle two times. But by the fifth time your insanely loud phone begins vibrating on our bed, I want to leap over our sleeping children and punch you in your somehow sleeping face.

I am not a violent woman. In fact, I am a lover of peace and tranquility. I don’t like confrontation. But if you run into my husband in the supermarket and he has a peculiar bruise on his face, you can bet I finally clocked him.

About the Author

Jennifer Garry blogs about motherhood at  her personal blog, Cuddles and Chaos, about beautiful weddings on her bridal blog, Bijou, and on the art of make up here. If you’re looking for June Cleaver or Carol Brady, you won’t find either at Cuddles and Chaos–but you will find the honest down to earth sticky  business that motherhood is, alongside DIY posts, and fashion and beauty thrown in. She’s your one stop shop for all your online friend needs.

 

photo credit: potzuyoko via photopin cc

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Comments

  1. Cindy Brown says:

    I am so with you on this post! My husband’s alarm goes off at 4:20 a.m. It is my responsibility to actually get him out of bed, though. I am amazed at how quickly he can go back to snoring after hitting the snooze when I, like you, am a ninja on attack at the drop of a pin. I don’t even think he’s actually conscious. I can’t wait until he retires. In 30 years…. ugh!

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  2. Exactly, Cindy! How is it possible that they snore so quickly after hitting snooze and are out so deep when it goes off again?!

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  3. Kristin says:

    My husband is the same way, and it’s also my responsibility to finally drag him out of bed. It is the most annoying habit ever, did I tell you he sets his alarm an hour early just to snooze. Argh!

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