I want her to feel good about herself for what’s inside, but right now, being eleven, she is entirely focused on everything that is external.
To swim or not to play piano or not.
For sure cheerleading.
I see her trying to figure it out and remember when I was 11, mostly, and trying to figure all of “it” out as well. In fact, that is about when I have clear cut memories, the others from all of my previous years are few and far between. I don’t remember being obsessed with the external, but I am sure I probably was to some extent.
I want her to bypass all of the angst of being a preteen and teen, especially the part where she’s unsure of herself. Then I remember that angst is part of growing up too, it’s part of the thing that reminds us to figure something out, if we’re listening carefully enough to ourselves.
“You! Hey, you! This angst isn’t working for you, figure out that you’re an amazing person and move on!” I hope the voice in all of us says.
We’re all smart, funny, and beautiful. We have to find our own way to knowing it I suppose, using what we have inside of us.
That still won’t stop me from snuggling up with her as long as I can, and being lucky enough to whisper to her how amazing she is while she’s falling asleep, hoping some of it seeps in her brain.