When I was still working as a social worker, I would get up every morning and shower and get dressed for the day. I never had to wear anything fancy (Hello, garbage houses!), but I would put on a nice shirt, tuck it into a pair of jeans that was neither faded nor frayed, and wear a belt. Since quitting my job to write, I would call such an outfit “dressed up.” maybe even “formal wear.”
I used to always say that I lived in “da hood” because I live in an inner city neighborhood in Minneapolis, but now it is accurate to say that I live in “da hoodie,” because hoodies are my new uniform.
My new morning routine goes something like this:
1. Get up in the morning and put on “Pajama Hoodie” and “Morning Sweatpants” and then have coffee on the couch before getting the kids up and ready for school.
2. Take kids to school in “Pajama Hoodie” and “Morning Sweatpants” and then return home.
3. Take a shower and exchange for “Daytime Hoodie” and “Daytime Sweatpants”.
4. Steer clear of beautiful writing space I set up for myself and crawl into bed with my laptop to write.
5. Pick up kids while wearing “Daytime Hoodie” and “Daytime Sweatpants.” Point out to kids that I am wearing different hoodie and sweatpants to model good hygiene.
6. After dinner and the kids’ bedtime, change into “Pajama Hoodie” and rename “Morning Sweatpants” “Evening Sweatpants.”
I like my new uniform a lot and resent when I am forced to put on real pants and a real shirt (and a bra). I have not yet fallen so far that I do not put on real clothes when I go places other people will see me. I can see how people become hermits because my new found love for my hoodies has become so strong that I may start a Hoodie Hermitage.
And now a poem…
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art as warm thanks to soft fleece:
Rough winds may try to muss my silver locks,
But that’s why these things come with hoods:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And I can unzip this wrapping;
Or can put on one that is lighter,
Because – damn – they make a hoodie for all seasons;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
It simply becomes softer with each washing;
Nor shall Death be a problem,
When it’s my time just dress me in my “Daytime Hoodie”:
So long as people can breathe or eyes can see,
The hoodie lives and gives life to thee.
Adapted from William Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet
I am so sorry, Mr. Shakespeare