I Think I Gave Myself a UTI

I went on a bath bonanza for the past week. I probably got four in five days.

Then I left for a blog convention.

I’ve always been sensitive to pressure when flying. I take a decongestant (actually a whole bunch of ‘em) before a flight just to loosen up the sinuses. I’ve never had an allergy, broken bone or major health issue, but I do get pain in my sinuses if I don’t take the meds.

Well, this time I forgot to bring the pills.

I noticed a little pressure during takeoff. No big deal as it didn’t hurt but I was worried about landing. Landing is always the worst for us ear-burners. And then for some reason I needed to pee three different times in the three hour flight.

As we landed the pressure was a little rough, but not painful.

Later that evening I realized I had been peeing all day long and that, please forgive me here, there was a little tiny bit of discomfort the moment I started going. Only like a .5 on the pain scale of ten, kind of like a little pinch. And only lasted for a second, at the beginning. Now, this has never happened before. I didn’t think too much about it and settled in for a bath. In a hotel bath that may or may not have been scrubbed prior to me sliding in.

Not sure whether it was the many baths on consecutive days or the air pressure, but I think I may have a UTI.

I didn’t even know dudes could get those. It’s either that or I tore my John Thomas. Either way, something is up. Well, not up. Kind of down and broken.

I started thinking that I should go to the doctor but I’m too busy until next week. Then I remembered that chicks eat tons of cranberries when it happens to them. I should have Google’d it because I was wrong on two counts. First, cranberries are only for preventing UTIs, and second research has come out that suggest it does nothing to prevent the infection.

I ran to the grocery and picked up a bottle of the pills. Also a POM juice with cranberries in it.

After this cranberry thing, I’m all out of ideas. Hopefully it’s not something un-awesome like a kidney stone. Although that would give me some decent blog material.

So, I either tore my d or gave myself a UTI. Or maybe I’ve got the gout. Who knows? Either way, here’s what my next few days are going to look like, even though there’s no evidence to suggest it will help.


Are you thoroughly skeeved out?

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About D.J. Paris


  1. Anne says:

    It can happen. My son got a kidney infection from a UTI. The cause was too many baths that were too long and had too much Mr Bubble. Of course, he was three.

    Feel better and don’t wait too long to see a doctor. Cranberry juice is no substitute for an antibiotic, if that’s what you need.

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  2. D.J. Paris says:

    Turns out it wasn’t a UTI. Went away on its own. Who knows what was going on? Ha.

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  3. Lisa Newlin says:

    I’m glad to know everything turned out okay. Maybe that was all just nature’s way of telling you to eat more cranberries.

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