The Aiming Low Inner Sanctum

So this is the place!  The Aiming Low inner sanctum.  I’ve always wondered what it was like in here. I’ve been looking through the windows from the Guest Post room. Longingly. Hang on a moment while I have a look around.

Wow…they’ve got snacks in here. Hershey’s from NonCon…I’ll just stuff these peanut butter cups in my bag. I’m not a crook. They’d want me to have them. Ooh…coffee…Diet Coke…Twizzlers! This is my kinda place. ‘Don’t Speak Whinese’ stickers all over the walls, bandanas from the Country Outfitter party…just gonna wrap one around my leg Chachi style.

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Linda. I’ve got a blog called Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom. I sing, write and play in a band called Jehova Waitresses. We still record, but these days we’ve got two boys, so touring isn’t happening. Instead, we put it all out here on the internets.

I blog because my family was a little edgy being the sole recipients of my overcompensation for not having been a SNL cast member, the bursts of song accompanying every pop culture reference and what they call “the voices” (my impressions).  To them? In a word: annoying.  To you? Hopefully: entertaining.  I’ll humor you, you humor me. Deal?

Oh – and I’m pretty snarky.  Larry David is my kindred spirit.  My bad attitude is now considered “snarky”!  Trés edgy!

What, no tunes?  I think a bad ass humor website like Aiming Low needs a theme song/anthem. Something to pump our collective fists to while singing in defiance of over-achievement. What we need is a perfectly mediocre song that’ll play through the opening credits of the Aiming Low Show on HBO starring Margaret Cho as Anissa Mayhew.
It has to be on HBO because, dang, these people swear. But so the f@%& do I.

They also talk about vaginas a lot. If there was a vagina drinking game at NonCon, I’d have been in a coma by Friday night.

I’m not doing any nudity though.  Lena Dunham’s got that covered.  Or…uncovered.

Anyway, I took the liberty of writing a theme song.

Thanks for inviting me in, guys!  I’m gonna like it here!

Aim Low

Well I, I was down on my luck
I used to give way too much of a…
(I used to seriously over think things)
Then I, learned to cool off my jets
I concentrated on the funny
And man, that’s just as good as it gets
I found a tribe that’ll get me
They aid and abet me
It’s good to have the last laugh
I snark and people’ll let me
Nobody regrets me
Now my freak flag’s flyin’ full staff

That’s why you gotta aim low
You gotta aim low
No tellin’ how far you’ll go
It’s so not gonna blow

You gotta aim low
‘Cause you never know
Don’t ever sell yourself short
‘Cause you might find that you grow
You just gotta aim low

About Linda Roy

Linda is a writer/musician with a Peter Pan Petty complex, a guitar toting husband, two boys and pug dependency issues. She’s grateful that the word “snark” has been introduced into the vernacular since people just used to know her as “the chick with the bad attitude”.  She feels strangely akin to Larry David and will criticize your parallel parking abilities to prove it. She blogs at elleroy was here and fronts the Indie Americana band Jehova Waitresses.  She also writes at Lefty Pop and Funny Not Slutty. Connect with her on TwitterFacebook and Google+

Comments

  1. Alexandra says:

    I loved this woman already, and know?

    *swoon*

    Welcome aboard, Linda, so stoked to have you here.

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  2. Anne says:

    Finally, a theme song! Just what we needed. I expect to hear it at the next NonCon!

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  3. Vikki says:

    Well done! Standing ovation and pass the bandanas and peanut butter cups!

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