Beer before liquor, never sicker.
Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.
It goes without saying that you should teetotal until you turn twenty-one (ahem I have to type that, stay safe, kids), but this is a genius rhyme, and you will need to reference it probably more often than your times tables as you stagger your uncertain way towards adulthood.
It makes me wish there were rhymes for other obstacles along the way. Like, say, unrequited crushes:
If he owns tap shoes and wears flavored lip balm
There’s prob’ly a reason he never asked you to prom
Fear not your picture day forehead cyst crop
You live in a world that employs Photoshop!
Math before critical reading, sweat starts beading
Critical reading before math, terrible gas
Or body issues:
No two perfect bodies are ever the same
But they all come from eating, and carry no shame.
Yeah, I know, I got sappy. But it’s true, deal with it. Or, as I like to say:
Rhymes for self-help are cheap, fast, and fun
Now for real, stay inside until you’re twenty-one
And with that, my Dr. Seussian lesson is done!