Dear Spouse…

Dear Spouse: I appreciate that you shut our bedroom door, our son’s bedroom door, and the bathroom door in the morning so we can stay asleep while you start your morning routine. But could you please stop slamming things shut in said bathroom? Turns out that is not a sound proof room.

Dear Spouse: I was giving our son cough medicine this morning when you decided that at that same minute you had to kiss him good-bye. Could you be more aware of your surroundings, and less self-centered, and wait ½ a minute next time?

Dear Spouse: This is not the new math: laying on the couch in the prone position≠getting ready to go out.

Dear Spouse: Thanks for taking your own dishes into the kitchen when you are finished with your dinner. I know that is a big deal as your mom never let you do that growing up. But please realize that the more soap you put on the dish does not correlate to how clean it can become. P.S. The dishes do not clean themselves.

Dear Spouse: When I ask you to do our son’s homework with him, I mean let him do the homework with your guidance, not for you to do the homework for him. Thanks.

Dear Spouse: When I tell you I am putting our son to bed in 5 minutes, that doesn’t mean for you to start making noise in 5 minutes. I have to take the blame forD that; I am not clear as to the bedtime schedule.

Dear Spouse: When I say I am too tired and want to go straight to bed, I don’t mean start making annoyed noises that will then aggravate me. Turns out that is not a sexual turn on. Neither is the ensuing anger that I feel that then prevents me from falling asleep.

Disclosure: No resemblance to anyone living or soon to be dead is intentional, but it is on purpose.

About the Writer
SAHD in NYC raising a 4th grader in the NYC school system. In a same sex relationship for 20 years. Also, gay. This blog is the story of how we adopted our son in infancy, how we enjoy our life in New York City, and how we navigate the world together. We also do product reviews, giveaways, and attend events, oftentimes together, which we love! Read more at GayNYCDad.com.

 

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About Comic Relief Roster

When a member of Aiming Low has to take a break you know it's a big deal. It could be an environmental catastrophe. A intergalactic supernova. The vodka bottle could be EMPTY!!! We have a great team of writers that hop in place when we are locked in Tahitian prisons we are out with the Chlamydia we are out.. We call these HEROES the "Comic Relief Roster".

Comments

  1. Wendy says:

    OMG- I think your spouse and mine may have hung out a lot together! And hwo about DO NOT TALK TO THE DAMN DOG IN THE MORNING WHEN I AM TRYING TO SLEEP FOR 20 MINUTES MORE!

  2. Yeah – I’m cyber hi 5ing you on the dish thing especially, but I’d like to add that the compulsory turning off of the lights in a room I’m currently sitting in without asking if I’d like them off is über annoying.

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