It’s January. How did that happen? Wasn’t it just yesterday that it was November? The last month and a half has been a complete blur. Most of that had a lot to do with the fact that I had the munchkins home. I love having them home, for about the first 3 days, and then those little people start to wear on my nerves.
I’m sure I get on their nerves too. They want to play but they don’t realize that mommy doesn’t get time off because she’s a WAHM. I get to falalala while making a lopsided Barbie Gingerbread house, while shopping online for last minute Christmas gifts, listening to my 5-year-old tell me the story of the “ Nativity,” while my 7-year-old begs for a piece of gum, the puppy’s chewing on my foot, and I’m trying to get work in by my deadline.
I pretty much feel like that Munch painting, The Scream. That is motherhood, especially during the holidays. Sure, on the outside to the general public we appear all calm, cool, and collected, but inside it’s all “get me the hell outta here” screams.
To make the entire thing exponentially worse, we all had the flu and then we all had pink eye and then we hung on to that cough and nasal drip until, well, we still have it today. So aside from trying to do my job, make my children have the best Christmas ever, we had to survive flupocalypse.
I was so looking forward to this Monday, only to find out that the girls didn’t go back to school until Tuesday…at 10! Will this nightmare ever end? Then Monday night, my husband came home from work sick. Again. WTF? He has bronchitis. He’s been home all week.
On top of all that awesomesauce (read with extreme sarcasm font), I had the brilliant idea to give up carbs. You heard me right. Oh, did I forget to mention that I have a slight addiction to white sugar and flour and if you take away my carbs I may try and cut you or bite you or eat you? I do. Ask my poor husband. Sonofabitch tried to come between some cereal and me. He won. I’m still bitter.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but too much of a good thing is bad for you, and if these people don’t all go to their respective day jobs on Monday, I may be forced to run off with the circus.