I have a large family. Large family means tons of birthdays. Specifically speaking, the fall months are super busy (Valentine’s Day plus nine months.) But the month with tons o’ birthdays? DECEMBER.
We’re Irish. Count back nine months. I’ll wait. (It’s March 17th—aka St. Patrick’s Day— for those of you not good at math).
So. Birthdays. December Birthdays. Tons and tons of December Birthdays. It’s tough on kids to have a December Birthday because they always get that, “This is your birthday AND Christmas gift!” and I know they shouldn’t be ungrateful and all but when you are a kid it kinda stinks, mmkay?
Not that I know anything about that.
Okay, I do know something about that. Not one but TWO! KIDS! with December Birthdays.
One kid is December 10th. He was due the 8th, when a nephew was born.
The other kid? I was in labor December 26th (he was born the 27th). I even have a cousin with a Christmas birthday. Poor guy. No one wanted to celebrate HIS birth. They were all about the mistletoe and eggnog instead. And the little baby Savior Dude. And that perennial favorite, “Here’s your Christmas AND Birthday present, kid!” No one would do that if you had a June birthday!
Also in December? Nephew, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, several cousins, uncles, five neighbor kids (parties the week before Christmas. CHA CHING!), good family friends we grew up with.
Expensive month, yo.
And to make matters worse, we like to double up on birthdays in my family. For example, two of my brothers, three years apart, born on the same day in November. My youngest brother was born on the same day as my neighbor and best childhood friend in March.
Heck, my husband and I are ten days apart with our anniversary right in between. My Father-in-law and Mother-in-law in February? One on Valentine’s Day. The other the day before. Several cousins share birthdays.
Did I mention my family is large?
I’ve decided that from here on out we’re not allowed to double up on any more birthdays. I’ve sent my family a memo, even (well, in my own mind). Except one bro didn’t get the memo and his kid was due on my birthday. Thankfully he missed it and was born in the wee hours just past my anniversary. Phew. Close one.
Another nephew is due in January, smack dab in the middle of a sister and a brother-in-law. Now taking bets on if he actually lands on one of their birthdays. Ten bucks says he does.
So, family? READ THE MEMO. Plan better, yo. No more doubling up. And no more December birthdays. I’m broke. Because I know you’re all planning your families at my convenience, right? Right.