Sometimes It’s the Little Things

My daughter is eight years old and she thinks I’m a moron.

She also thinks I hate her, but that is beside the point. Sort of.

I think my baby girl suffers from early onset teenager syndrome. I can tell because everything I do either embarrasses her or is just stupid.

She thinks that all of my clothes are boring. She doesn’t care that I got to meet Duran Duran, or that one time I was in an opera or that I have driven across the country. She rolls her eyes at me when I say that I’ve been to Tahiti or know the person on the cover of Good Housekeeping. It does not impress her that I have performed at the Kennedy Center or that I made two babies at the same time. She does not care that I can spell Nebuchadnezzar or pronounce Muhammed-Kabeer Olanrewaju Gbaja-Biamila.

I actually think she hates it when I rattle off where everyone in the NFL played college football.

But you know what I did this morning that blew her little mind?

I moonwalked.

This is a true story. I moonwalked between making breakfast and packing her lunch and suddenly I was awesome. Both children were amazed at my mad skills.

I never thought I would say this, but thank you Michael Jackson. Thank you the 1980s.

Who would have ever guessed that the week I spent in front of my TV figuring out how to moonwalk would have come in handy? Not me. That is for sure.

I’m not exactly sure what the lesson is here? You should learn to breakdance before you have children? My kids have messed up values? Pop music has virtue?

I think the lesson here is this: you never know what will impress an eight year old.

About Goon Squad Sarah

Goon Squad Sarah rocks the mic like a vandal.

Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad, Draft Day Suit, That's Right. You Heard Me.,on twitter @goonsquadsarah or yelling at her TV.


  1. Amazing what gets kids attention. On the plus side of early on teenage syndrome its possible she will come out of it quicker.

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  2. Maggie S. says:

    I am practically the only person I knew who couldn’t moonwalk. I can practically walk on the ceiling. But I can’t do that.

    8 year-olds think, “I can write in cursive and do long division what the hell do I need a parent for?”

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  3. Kelly says:

    I don’t know what the lesson is either, but I do know one thing . . . I need to brush up on my moonwalking skills!

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  4. Good day to you guys ! I have recently worked on an article , I can even say it was a research regarding quite the same problem. There is not much clear information on that, but I was lucky to get a little bit at that wesite .

  5. Vicky says:

    Pop music wins the day in your house? Murphy’s Law! Love this post.

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