MU Teen: Choose – Career or Children?

Despite arguments here in Ireland that legalizing women’s employment after marriage (1973) has effectively malnourished domestic-o-phobic men, I was certain that the idea of women restricting themselves to the home was an outdated logic spouted by those who need the reassurance of inferiority in their marriages.

These are modern times. But how many Careersy-Mothers do I know? ZERO. Is there so much pressure on women to stay behind closed doors that aspiring young women are without role models?

Young girls admire women who parade themselves scantily clad on stage rather than those who contribute to mankind. We, as a generation, have received a thorough brainwashing in favour of domestication. In the 1890s, less than 1/4 of girls played with dolls, but due to a fall in birth rates, the collective industry of chauvinists decided to reinforce the notion that a woman’s place is in the home, and “gender” toys accordingly. This trend persists today.

I myself had been brainwashed into believing that university was a time to find a husband and life-long friends, rather than complete a degree and escalate the professional ladder. A white dress, trinkets and doll-like babies are seen as the final goal, not a stopping point along the way. Even my friends, the upcoming wave of women, the first generation born into a contraception-yielding Ireland, refuse to work after childbirth.

Why is this? Don’t children need to see their Mothers as companions, intellectuals, with personalities, and most importantly, as human beings,  and not just in-house servitors?

Many obstacles and insults are thrown at career-women: prophecies of divorce, childlessness, and infidelity, to name but a few. This is a bleak and threatening atmosphere for our youth. Why is it that women now outnumber men in universities, but less than 10% of high-income positions and 3% of property are held by women? Is a career simply a stepping stone to finding your ultimate place in the home?

Women in high positions do not have to be single, heartless, and cat-fetishists. You do not need to throw daggers in every path to achieve the best of both worlds. You must be the best person you can be, taking life in your stride and spreading love despite your gender. Life is a short journey, shortened even more so by the age of this world.

I will not take a back-seat from the commencement to avoid upsetting future partners and limiting my chances of having children. I may compromise, as I am yet unsure of the final destination. Bettering the world is my goal, be it through my own kids, or Mother Earth’s as a whole.
About the Writer
Ginger is the pseudonym of a quirky and somewhat eccentric 15-year-old discovering the peaks and valleys of life on the West coast of Ireland, where the term “field” trip is somewhat overused. Her interests include reading, obscurity, history, Irish politics, road spotting, thinking, sci-fi, baking, writing and numerous other geeky activities. In the evenings, she is not found partying, but rather feverishly updating her blog, Quirks-and-Irks.

 

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Comments

  1. mommylisa says:

    My Aunts and I have discussed this at great length – they worked, HARD and were very successful. Excellent role models for me. We all lament the large number of stay-at-home mothers who don’t really “do” anything. It is one thing if you do something for yourself and take care of your children – example http://mamainwonderland.blogspot.com/ Stay at Home Mom & published author. But quite another if you snicker or COMPLAIN about working mothers not lifting their fair share at school, yet do little yourself to help anyone.

    P.S. I work, co-lead a Girl Scout Troop & am PTO President, but still find time for my friends – single or mother – and myself on my blog. :) And there is no divorce in my future, my hubby is hooked.

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    • Thanks for commenting on my post!
      I am also glad to hear of Mothers having it all out there! I can finally tell my relatives that there are wives out there who do not have to chain themselves to the kitchen sink to hook their husbands..
      :)

    • Laura says:

      You are kidding right? This is just silly banter correct? A stay at home mom who doesn’t “do” anything. Yes, yes we all sit at home and watch soap operas and eat Bon bons. Are you kidding me? I have a degree in finance. I worked very hard to move my way up the ladder. I was offered a very large promotion in my 8th month of pregnancy with my first child. I turned it down. Not because I’m lazy and wanted to hang out at home every day. Not because I so adore washing dishes, cleaning up after kids and volunteering at school. But because it was what I felt was right for me and for my family. I’ve returned to work on 2 separate occasions, both times because I was asked to come back for urgent projects. And both times I was able to walk away and happily return to being a stay at home mom.

      My being home in the afternoon means stability for my family. My house is one that neighborhood kids come to play right after school. I have neighborhood friends who work full time and part time-some from their homes and others in the office. We look out for each other when we have times that we can’t get to the bus stop on time or need to work on something else without the kids around. I don’t look down my nose at a mom who cant be at school as much as I can. I see that as one of the opportunities that comes with my chosen profession. Every body has their own path. I wasn’t forced into my path because of low self esteem or lack of education or an over bearing husband. I chose this path because it is what I as a self respecting, confident woman wanted to do and I believe it is what God wanted for my life.

      I am ALL for progressing women’s rights through out the world. Yes, we need more women leaders in business, politics, finance, etc. but don’t assume that because I’m not leading a corporation I’m not changing the world. I aim to improve the world every day with the interactions I have with my kids and those around me. Just because you don’t read about it in a newspaper or on a blog, doesn’t mean it doesn’t count!

      I believe the rub comes when we (men and women) start to think we can have it all. We can’t. There is only so much time, so much energy, so much of you. It’s all a balance. And I for one don’t think ANY of us have it all completely figured out!!

      • mommylisa says:

        YOU just made my point – I meant the ones who DON’T really volunteer, seem put out if you ask, don’t have any of their own hopes and dreams beyond watching and drooling over “The Real Housewives.” and frankly don’t know what on earth they will do when they can’t hide behind “staying home for the kids” – I was only pointing to a mother that I could actually demonstrate was the kind of stay at home mom I admire. Sorry if I was not clear in what I meant.

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  2. Laura says:

    And you made my point. I don’t know any moms that sit at home and watch real housewives and don’t “do” anything. We as women spend more time tearing eachother down and ranting about what other women should choose for their lives. We should focus on own lives and what God and we each have chosen for it, rather than looking at what others are doing in theirs. Like I said, no one has it figured out, so let’s stop beating each other up and judging each other!

  3. MamaKaren says:

    I don’t have it all, and I don’t think I’m expected to. I have a job outside of the home which is sometimes fulfilling and sometimes tedious, I have three children (all school aged) who are sometimes life affirming and sometimes frustrating to the point of tears- my tears. Yes, there are times when I miss out on school events and the kids regret it. There are also times when the kids are excited for something I am doing at work and are proud of what I’ve done for my career.

    Career and children are not an either/or, all or nothing proposition. There is a spectrum- part time work, at home work, full time at the office, full time in the home without a paycheck…it’s all good.

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  4. Thank you all for your commentary..
    It is good to see a wide range of opinions and backgrounds, and that women are finding happiness in various locations. Hopefully women will someday be given a fair and well-supported oppurtunity in EVERY sector of life without receiving abuse from others!
    :)

  5. Megan says:

    The whole point of all of this is that we get to choose how are lives will be, not have it chosen for us. Life happens, we plan and God laughs.

    What is most important is that we, as women, support each others’ choices. As Madeline Albright says, “There’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t support other women.”

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