Laughing at Farts, and Other Ways to Stay Young at Heart

Just trying to have some fun.

I’ll admit it.I’m actually twelve.

See, I snicker at things young’uns find funny. For example?

69.

If I see the number 69 come up on a gas pump, a register receipt, a notification count, an email count… doesn’t matter. I snicker. Because I’m SO MATURE like that.

I also snicker when I hear euphemisms for genitalia and body parts. Not because I’m embarrassed. Nope. I actually use the anatomically correct words. But because I think the substituted words are funny.

Like snatch.

Or vajayjay.

Or hooters.

*snicker*

Better yet is a certain Speaker/Representative’s name. I can’t keep a straight face when I hear it. Sorry.

(Boner!)

HAHAHAHA!!! See? Funny!

OK, maybe it isn’t. Pout.

Body functions also make me laugh. Come on, you mean when you’re in the grocery store and you hear a little tyke or an older member of society let one rip REALLY, REALLY LOUDLY you don’t snicker just a little bit?

Because I do.

Yep, I know. Mature, right? I’m an awesome role model, what can I say?

I’m a kid at heart, honestly. I like to have fun. I like games, music and pop culture. And wearing my hair in pig tails. I like to watch cartoons and teen dramadies.

(You mean you DON’T? What’s the matter with you?)

I like Christmas and holidays, amusement parks and carousels. I like parties. And licking cake or cookie batter from my cookies when I’m making them. (Shhhh, don’t tell anyone who eats food at my house I do this.) I also hide cookies from my kids so I can eat them myself. I know. Mother of the year!

It’s probably time I grow up and act my age, right? Cut my hair, dress like a 40-year-old woman? Stop watching cartoons and stop blaring music in my so-cool-it’s-almost-hipster minivan?

NEVER. And you can pry my pink fuzzy bunny slippers and flannel Christmas elephant pajamas from my cold, dead hands, mmkay?

About Marj Hatzell

Marj Hatzell climbed Mount Everest, explored the Amazon and swam across the English Channel. Not really, but she's the mother of two kids with special needs so SAME THING. She prefers dogs over people, which means she has STELLAR social skills. Marj isn't a writer but she plays one on tv. Marj also goes to eleven. You can find her at her non-paying day job, the wildly unsuccessful blog The Domestic Goddess, on Twitter, and on Facebook. She also has a not-so-new and definitely-not-successful-and-ignored blog at The Crazy Dog Lady and Facebook page no one visits.

Comments

  1. Oh good, it’s not just me! I still laugh at the word wiener. My kids are at the age where the words “butt” and “underwear” render them unable to function because they are laughing so hard. The favorite knock knock joke these days has the punchline “Underwear pajama buttpants!” They get this from their mother, poor things.

    How does that saying go? I may have to grow old but I never have to grow up.

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  4. MamaKaren says:

    A few weeks ago, I almost gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh in church. The priest kept saying “…this is a really big ‘but’…” and I was trying to ignore it. I have Beavis and Butthead in my head going “Heh…heh heh…he said ‘really big butt’!”

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Trackbacks

  1. [...] at the time and at hearing it, I mindlessly remarked, “Uh oh.” (An appropriate response when someone farts, I’d [...]

  2. [...] The Domestic Goddess-Laughing At Farts, And Other Ways To Stay Young At Heart.  Somehow I feel like Marj is a kindred spirit.  I can always relate to her writing!  This is no exception.  It’s so bad that I have had to assure her that I’m not a stalker, I just really like her blogging!  I am so glad I am not the only one who laughs at certain words (I snort every time I see the word “wiener”, among other things).  You have to grow old, you don’t have to grow up.  Who said tha, anyway? Share or be squareMoreLike this:Like Loading… This entry was posted in ADD, Blogging, Family, Food, Geekdom, Gifts, Homemade, Hope, Humor, Kids, Marriage, Money Management, Motherhood and tagged Cloudy With A Chance of Wine, Front Range Scribbles, guest blogger, guest post, Mod Mom Beyond Indiedom, Mostly True Stuff, News, Noteworthy Posts of the Week, The Menopausal Mother, The Sunday Sip, Weekly wrap-up by Sarah Almond. Bookmark the permalink. [...]

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