The Friends You’ll Meet on the Internet

For years in really, real life, I had to listen  as friends told me the Interwebz people I talked to were not people but screen names. It’s a good thing I never listened because last week I was booby flashed by two of those “not real people” and my partner was insta-jealous. He now 100% believes screen names are real people too.

That’s the thing about Internet friends, after awhile they become real friends. Real enough to flash their boobs, reference their vaginas, and blow ass.

And I absolutely love them for it.

In my twenties, I had a toddler so I never had the chance to party or college dorm. I spent the vast majority of my time with my head in a book underlining key passages from Southern fiction while simultaneously being just as excited as my kid that the Wiggles were playing Fruit Salad. The Wiggles came up this weekend when I bet my roomie that there was no way in hell their farewell tour included all the original members.

I’m holding firm that it was a draw as the tour IS original members, but the new Wiggles include a girl and only one original.

No way, I don’t have to be right all the time.

It takes some seriously sad folks to argue about a couple of Australians in primary colors. I couldn’t be more thrilled that I was surrounded by people just as pathetic as I am and by pathetic I mean the most awesome people ever.

People who listen to white rappers who really like thrift stores and people who pretend they aren’t working out except their ninja kicks say otherwise or one of the coolest bloggers ever who just so happens to have fantastic cleave.

Not that I was screaming CATHOLIC CRISIS! while they were not being jiggled nowhere near me.

Definitely not.

If we got to see each other all the time, maybe it wouldn’t be so damn funny or awesome, but forget Disney. Send me to see my Internet peeps and wherever they are is the happiest place. Send me to Disney WITH the Internet peeps and I’ll be the fairy in slippers with the magic wand spreading my Internet dust all over the place.

Now there is no distinction: there are friends and then there are friends. The ones I had before are off turning into adults and the rest of us are holding on to being exactly who we are: the most awesome people you will ever want to meet. Or room with.

About Liz Henry

Liz Henry is the hellraiser behind, The Six Year Itch. She's a big deal over on Twitter because she shaves her chin. And by big deal she means she has a shirt that says "I'm kind of a big deal." Liz is from illadelph, which is Philadelphia but spelled stupid. She was just voted a BlogHer Voice of the Year. Who let that happen?!

Comments

  1. I wasn’t working out!! I was walking, quickly, away from freaking bears and whatever kept snarling in the woods all night.

    Listening to two women argue about the Wiggles made me realize I was with my people. I heart you, so hard.

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  2. Okay, okay, it was a draw but I stand firm that I was right first.

    It was a magical weekend of inside jokes and laughing so hard I cried. It was the perfect balance of hilarity and ridiculousness and for some reason those attributes in all of us mixed. As well as the cleave. YOU’RE WELCOME.

    Even though I am WAY older than you and those other roommates, thanks for putting up with me and all that texting and talking about texting.

    Love and inside jokes forever,
    Julia, photographer of the best picture ever taken, above.

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  3. Echos says:

    Before people realise that those behind screen names are their friends, they need to realise that there is a living, breathing human being behind that screen name, those blog posts, the journal, the message board posts.

    Many people come online to communicate with others because they cannot do it in the real world for some reason. Some of them are weak, some are not strong enough to take an insult, or to hear that someone doesn’t care about them, or that they deserve the rape they got last month, too bad the rapist was unsuccessful in killing them.

    Over the fifteen years that I have had a website and a presence here on the web, I have witnessed that over and over again. A few times I was the target. A few times I was the one whom the target came to for comfort and someone to talk to. After seeing the first time it happened to a young woman where a MAN who taught at a RELIGIOUS SCHOOL that if he didn’t get her death certificate in the mail, other members of her family were going to be hurt, and she eventually ended her life, and all her troll had to say about it was “I wuznt srs lol” I vowed to never inflict emotional pain to other people over the internet. It’s just not worth it. I couldn’t live with the guilt of that.

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  4. Andrea says:

    I love this, because my Internet peeps are my peeps, too. Well said.

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  5. Megan says:

    “A friend is a friend, no matter how small.” –Dr. Seuss

    Also, no matter how “virtual.” Some of my best friends are in my computer. It’s an extra special bonus when I get to squeeze them in real life.

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  6. Amiyrah says:

    My internet friends are quickly becoming the best type of friends I can have at this stage of my life. They are so inappropriate and fantastic.

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