Fighting This Grown-Up Thing Tooth and Nail

I think it was the cereal that really let me know I’m fighting this grown up thing tooth and nail. The cereal in question was Captain Crunch with ghost berries that turn your milk green. My kid was kinda excited and I was all: SOLD!

It may also be the argyle knee-high socks that I’m currently wearing or the sleeping till noon or the Rock n’ Roll Red hair dye I slather on far too frequently. Or currently living in my father’s basement. I am living the slacker’s dream of cereal, couch, basement, repeat.

The only thing I am missing is a pair of balls because my life would make one-half of a righteous bromance movie.

Don’t get me wrong, I work. Actually, I work all the damn time and through the night when I’m “in the zone.” This is why I sleep until noon and through conference calls that always begin at 8 am, and also why I have a healthy diet of Captain Crunch with Ecto-Cooler. I really need to add “get high” to my to-do list.

It just makes sense at this point.

I still feel like I’m sixteen except now I have a mustache that I can’t get rid of and sexy as hell varicose veins. The highlight of my weekend was watching Scream just to hear the tall guy yell at the cute, dangerous one “you hit me with the phone, DICK!” I’m sure more mature parents were snapping pictures of their children at the pumpkin patch, while I was debating if my kid’s TV-watching will lead to millions when she becomes a director or a comedian or, I’m just saying, it better pay off someday.

I did watch a helluva lot of election coverage last week and will continue to until the first week of November.

Voting is grown up. Being informed is too. Which is why I lost my mind over Romney Style and did my civic duty by posting it to Facebook where I was then promptly un-friended by other grownups.

When I’m hunched over and three feet shorter than I am now–making me a bona fide leprechaun–at 60, will I still feel like a teenager? Which I’m cool with, I just better not be in the basement.

About Liz Henry

Liz Henry is the hellraiser behind, The Six Year Itch. She's a big deal over on Twitter because she shaves her chin. And by big deal she means she has a shirt that says "I'm kind of a big deal." Liz is from illadelph, which is Philadelphia but spelled stupid. She was just voted a BlogHer Voice of the Year. Who let that happen?!

Comments

  1. Lib says:

    This gave me the LOLz. I’m turning 45 tomorrow (aww, yeah!) and I spent a good part of last night lying awake wondering how it’s possible that I look this old when I don’t feel this old. And to know that people regard me as a “woman in her 40s” when I’m in a store or wherever. It’s just weird. Having a 15 year old daughter to constantly remind me that I’m old is, um, “helpful”?

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  2. Michele says:

    I had to walk away from that cereal not once, but TWICE. I really went back to it, gazed longingly, and had to walk back around the same old lady, who looked at me like I was nuts. I think stroking the Capn’s cheek put me over on the weirdo side of things, just a bit. But being a grown up is highly overrated. I personally hate it. Give me BTVS, and twizzlers, over adulthood any day.

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  3. Anne says:

    I love the thought of you at sixty still rocking the red hair and knee socks!

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