I think it was the cereal that really let me know I’m fighting this grown up thing tooth and nail. The cereal in question was Captain Crunch with ghost berries that turn your milk green. My kid was kinda excited and I was all: SOLD!
It may also be the argyle knee-high socks that I’m currently wearing or the sleeping till noon or the Rock n’ Roll Red hair dye I slather on far too frequently. Or currently living in my father’s basement. I am living the slacker’s dream of cereal, couch, basement, repeat.
The only thing I am missing is a pair of balls because my life would make one-half of a righteous bromance movie.
Don’t get me wrong, I work. Actually, I work all the damn time and through the night when I’m “in the zone.” This is why I sleep until noon and through conference calls that always begin at 8 am, and also why I have a healthy diet of Captain Crunch with Ecto-Cooler. I really need to add “get high” to my to-do list.
It just makes sense at this point.
I still feel like I’m sixteen except now I have a mustache that I can’t get rid of and sexy as hell varicose veins. The highlight of my weekend was watching Scream just to hear the tall guy yell at the cute, dangerous one “you hit me with the phone, DICK!” I’m sure more mature parents were snapping pictures of their children at the pumpkin patch, while I was debating if my kid’s TV-watching will lead to millions when she becomes a director or a comedian or, I’m just saying, it better pay off someday.
I did watch a helluva lot of election coverage last week and will continue to until the first week of November.
Voting is grown up. Being informed is too. Which is why I lost my mind over Romney Style and did my civic duty by posting it to Facebook where I was then promptly un-friended by other grownups.
When I’m hunched over and three feet shorter than I am now–making me a bona fide leprechaun–at 60, will I still feel like a teenager? Which I’m cool with, I just better not be in the basement.