15 Crappy Halloween Treats That Make My Kid Say Boo

We love Halloween in our house. Plus, we make sure to give out the good stuff: Kit Kats and peanut butter cups. You know, the real chocolate treats. I’ve taught my daughter well the houses on our block that go the extra mile and hand out the big bars. Nothing, on Halloween, beats the real deal.

On the other hand, there are the houses that hand out the crappy stuff. We count them just like we do squeaker farts: silent, but deadly. Somehow the shitty candy always makes it way into the bag, but you’re never quite sure who dealt it. This Halloween we’re on the lookout for these 15 stinkers:



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Where to start? Oh butterscotch candy, how you're basically an AARP card. If old peeps were supposed to be trick-or-treating, you'd be the cat's meow.

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About Liz Henry

Liz Henry is the hellraiser behind, The Six Year Itch. She's a big deal over on Twitter because she shaves her chin. And by big deal she means she has a shirt that says "I'm kind of a big deal." Liz is from illadelph, which is Philadelphia but spelled stupid. She was just voted a BlogHer Voice of the Year. Who let that happen?!


  1. MamaKaren says:

    We hate the Laffy Taffy. I don’t even bother to keep that come November 1, because I know no one is going to eat it. And I wonder if anyone actually eats Almond Joy or Mounds outside of Halloween season, since I never see it in stores but the kids have about a ton of it in the treat bags. We dump all of the candy together and let the kids take a few things of their own choice when they come to the door (unless it’s teenagers who don’t even attempt a decent costume; they get what I give them and can suck it up).

    I won’t buy any kind of candy that we ourselves wouldn’t be happy to get- Reese’s cups, Kit Kat, the Snickers/Milky Way/3 Musketeers assortment, Rolos. I do buy some Skittles or Life Savers for the crazypants non-chocolate people, and I am amazed by how many kids choose to take the pretzels or Goldfish crackers if I have them. But the ratio of chocolate/non chocolate in the big bowl is about 4:1

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    • Liz Henry says:

      I couldn’t fit Tootsie Rolls, but I hate those damn things. Apparently a lot of folks love them. But I get stabby when they show up anywhere. They scream “gonna lose a filling on this!”

      Goldfish? I never even thought of those. In those tiny boxes, they would be cute. It mean one less snack for lunch I would have to buy.

  2. Andrea says:

    Our kids come home mid-trick or treat and dump their bags before they go out again, and then I recycle all the stuff like gummy krabby patties and zombie fingers and cinnamon jawbreakers. And how I hate loose Hershey’s kisses and treats in a baggie, which usually consist of a broken pixy stik, two dum-dum pops and tiny tattoos.

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    • Liz Henry says:

      You’re brilliant! My daughter is just at the age where she can go out by herself and then stop mid-way through and we can re-gift her crappy candy. I guess that would be called re-treat, which makes me think of re-tweet.

  3. Michele says:

    Is it weird, that like half of this list is on my favorites list? Come on, Necco wafers? They’re a classic! I dream about the chocolate ones sometimes. And butterscotch? Well, I’m an old lady at heart, so I guess that explains that!

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    • Liz Henry says:

      I would definitely take butterscotch over razor blades. But Necco wafers make me think of tums and who wants to think about an upset stomach when they’re about to devour candy? I didn’t even know chocolate ones existed. I could get down with that.

  4. WTF are cow tales?????

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  1. [...] because Halloween is a week a way – here’s a personal favorite – 15 shitty Halloween treats over at Aiming Low. I’ll give you two of my 15 [...]

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