Simple Rules for Dating Boys

There are so many things that I wish I knew about dating as a teenager that I know now. If I knew then what I know now, high school would have been a completely different experience for me.

For instance, most of the boys that you think are so cute today–the ones with the bad attitudes who think they can get by on their biceps and charm–will end up fat and going bald in about 10 years. He’s peaking now, that means there is nowhere to go but down hill.

The shy, quirky, quiet boy who sits in the back of the classroom and gets straight A’s–now, that’s the boy who will come into himself in college. He will be interesting because he’s read a lot. He will be polite because he’s always had to be. He will be caring because he is considerate and he will want to please you because you are his one and only, not one in a long line. These are all good things. He has nowhere to go but up.

When you are a teenager, cute and popular is the hot commodity. Who doesn’t want the cute, popular boy that all the other girls want? Of course we all want to say he’s our boyfriend and he chose us. But what’s the point?

The thing I didn’t know when I was a teenager is that these first boys we date are called crushes for a reason; they hurt. It’s easy to get your feelings hurt when you hang all your happiness on one boy. He’s a boy; he doesn’t even know yet how to make himself happy, much less you. When you are a teenager, you should be dating around.

Who came up with the stupid idea that girls have to wait for Prince Charming to come kiss them and make all their dreams come true? Go kiss some frogs. Make your own dreams come true. I wasted all of my teens on one boy. Yes, he was the “cute boy,” and I spent a lot of high school waiting around for him when I could have been out having fun with my friends and dating other boys.

Your teens don’t last forever, even though it seems like an eternity. Fast cars, big biceps, popularity and cuteness are not what make a good boyfriend. What makes a good boyfriend is someone who makes you feel special and genuinely likes you for who you are, not what you are willing to do for him or how cute or popular you are.

Spend time with your girlfriends. Go on lots of dates. Have fun. Be daring. Do what makes you happy. The rest will come.

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About Deborah Cruz

You can read loads more from Deborah (@TruthfulMommy) at her blog The TRUTH about Motherhood and as a contributing writer at Smart Mom Style and the Stir.

Deborah spends her days drinking coffee in suburbia, shuttling little ones and planning social media world domination and occasionally, she sleeps.

She's at Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest too!

Being brutally honest and irreverent all over the internet since 2009.


  1. wendy says:

    i saw two nine-year-olds holding hands at my son’s middle school last week (so, okay–they probably weren’t actually nine, but they sure the heck looked it) and i’ve been thinking about the real-life ‘dating’ scene for the tween and teen set ever since. thanks for a thoughtful, been-there post that a flesh-and-blood teen might actually read and relate to.

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  2. Teri Carter says:

    oh the if I knew then what I know now!!! If I could time travel back to 10th grade and slap myself up side the head. Now I have a pre-teen that is on her way to go through all this and I know that she isn’t going to listen.

  3. This may be the best advice to high school aged girls I’ve yet to read. Our 10 year reunion was a shock of formerly gorgeous BMOC’s bald and sporting bellies.

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