I Dreamed People Saw Me Pooping

My dog, Pre used to eat my other dog, Halley’s lawn sausages straight from the tap, but that’s a whole ‘nother story!

Alrighty, dream interpreters, riddle me this.  Just a heads up, I wish I could tell you this was gonna be as easy to decipher as my last memorable dream where I got it on all hot & heavy with Tyrese, but sadly, it is not.  I need you to seriously THRUST (“thrust” may just be my favorite word on the planet  because 100% of time for me it has a sexual connotation, yet is socially appropriate in ANY circumstance.  Boom!) yourselves into this experience fully and lay down what you think this f’ed up dream means or represents to me.  I am utterly horrified and semi-freaking out right now that I may need counseling/medications/alcohol to deal with this.  And I’m feeling a little bit exposed sharing this nightmare dream with all of you, just as I did while it played out.  (No clue why after exposing myself earlier this year with my shart attack post!)

Last night, I dreamt that like eight or nine different people (all of whom I know well — hell, may have even been one of you!) saw me taking a dump.  Not only did they keep walking in on me, but they also kept leaving the door open, and wouldn’t you know that it happened DURING A PARTY (who craps during a shindig unless you have cha-cha-cha anyway?!?!?), so multiple people saw me:

  • naked from the waist down,
  • possibly passing an actual turd
  •  in a semi-hunched over shitting position (for speed, yo. Kind of like milking your own belly to help you go faster?!  Should have hit up The Shit Whisperer instead!),
  • standing up to wipe (please tell me I’m not the only one… it’s just such a better angle! Scott disagrees & opts for the awkward side-cheek-tilt, which actually once cracked one of our wooden toilet seats.  L is for LOSER.), and
  • pulling my pants back up.

Each time my “friends” burst in on me, they looked, their eyes widened, they laughed hysterically, and then they said they were “SO SORRY!” before leaving again, conveniently leaving the door ajar. Each time, I would scream out between laughs & cries, “Seriously, can I not shit in peace?!?!  SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR!!!!”  Because even I knew that was some funny shit (pun intended), but I certainly didn’t want to be the one they saw layin’ logs.  So it happened again and again and again.

Lest you think I’m a freak or something, for the record, I was only on the head for all of like 3-4 minutes as this all went down.  I was being quick (you know, I went in sans iPhone)!  Such bullshit.

Thoughts?  Decode me!

About the Writer
Gwen Hartley of thehartleyhooligans.com is a real-life, damn near Snow F’ing White (she’s pale AND she can wrangle dwarves!) from Kansas who blogs regularly about her kids’ antics, her husband’s sketchy facial hair, and shitting herself.  When she’s not cleaning up doggy snot & random bodily fluids (from the kids, pervs!), she finds time to share about her unique life raising a typical child & two profoundly disabled children, laughing all the way.  

 

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Comments

  1. Chris says:

    Oh,oh, I know! I know! Do you not unload yourself, in public, whenever you post….? You are totally unloading and exposing the crap that happens in life, sometimes probably a little humiliating and takes away your privacy, but you feel so much better when you are done ;). And I would venture to guess that sometimes you are trying to do it under a deadline, hence the ‘need for speed’. Yep, you are exposed, just like in the dream.

  2. Cass says:

    I tend to use this site (http://www.dreammoods.com) when I’m stumped. Here’s what it says:

    “To dream that you are in a public restroom with no stalls or that there are a lot of people around while you are trying to do your business signifies your frustrations about getting enough privacy. You are always putting others ahead of your own needs. As a result, you are lacking a sense of personal space. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are having difficulties letting go of old emotions. You are afraid that if you reveal these feelings, then others around you will judge and criticize you.”

    Hope that helps! :-)

    Twitter Name:

    • Gwen says:

      Dammit, Cass, you NAILED IT! Gonna have to bookmark that site, because my dreams are a real hot mess on a regular basis. Last night I dreamt I had a one night stand (and yes, our hook-up WAS in public during daylight hours with people watching! WTF!) & feared I got myself knocked up. Gonna go ahead & set up those counseling sessions just in case. HAHAHAHHAA! THANKS!

  3. Andrea says:

    Great. Guess what I’ll be dreaming about tonight?

    Seriously hilarious, and a little disgusting. Just like everything else that fascinates me.

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    • Gwen says:

      Hoping your night wasn’t as shitty as mine was — pun intended, Andrea! HA! DEFINITELY disgusting — I could actually FEEL the turd exiting during the dream. It’s a wonder I didn’t shit the bed. HA! I’m a disaster! LOL

  4. So glad to see my friend, Gwenners on here! She rocks – HARD. She and I even met a month or so ago here in Chicago. Love her.

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    • Gwen says:

      Mwah! I heart you, DJ! Hopin’ we get to hang out again sometime. Thanks for pointing me to Aiming Low! GREAT PLACE to get featured!!! Honored. :)

  5. Daniel says:

    It is talking about people being aware of your sin — the ones that bring you shame.

  6. Daniel says:

    The ones you don’t want people to know.

  7. Daniel says:

    Revelation 16:15
    (“Behold, I am coming like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake, keeping his garments on, that he may not go about naked and be seen exposed!”)

  8. dina says:

    I had a similar dreams only I couldnt stop and ended up messing all my clothes and had to walk out partially clothed in front of people

  9. Rishab Verma says:

    I am also having dreams about taking poop or taking a bath inside bathroom and the door is always open, when i see that someone is seeking at me I don’t even hide myself but deep in, I feel weird and frustrated but people acts normally, it’s like a nightmare everyday.

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