Dropping Bombs

What happened, Mommy?

I was totally exasperated. “The f*#king cat threw up on my clean sheets,” I said… and then I gasped and threw my hand over my mouth.

It wasn’t just that I accidentally swore in front of my kids, it was that I dropped the F bomb in such a casual manner. It wasn’t even necessary. It was likeI said “Oh, could you please hand me my fucking purse?” or “How about them fucking Resdkins?”  Well, no, not exactly, the Redskins usually call for that sort of coarse language, but you know what I mean.

I know that I have a potty mouth. I enjoy cursing as much as your average construction worker, I just try to minimize it around the children. My kids do, however, know to expect this in any driving situation and they revel in it.

Yesterday while trying to get from my house to Baltimore during DC rush hour–a 49 mile drive that took 2 1/2 hours starting at 3:00 in the afternoon–I believe I called a fellow traveler a “dick hole” which cause my son to bring up my previous transgression.

“Hey Mom,” he said “remember yesterday when you said the F-U-C-K word?”

“Yes, I do, buddy. I am sorry about that. It was totally uncalled for.”

“Mom, it brought joy to my heart.”

So, I guess, take that, society. My mouth might be socially unacceptable, but it makes my children happy and in the long run, what more could a mother want for her children.

Aiming Low is hosting the Non-Conference at Callaway GardensOctober 12-13, 2012. The conversation will be hot and the drinks will be cold. Can’t wait to see you! Register here: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/3617699637

 

About Goon Squad Sarah

Goon Squad Sarah rocks the mic like a vandal.

Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad, Draft Day Suit, That's Right. You Heard Me.,on twitter @goonsquadsarah or yelling at her TV.

Comments

  1. Vikki says:

    Swearing is one of my extracurricular activities though I don’t generally swear. I keep it to damn around the kids but my son loves to say, “Remember that time you screamed the f word when the toilet overflowed?” I think he liked my f bomb too.

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  2. daniel says:

    You’re a fucking inspiration.

  3. norm says:

    I, too, bring joy to my kids’ hearts quite frequently these days. *sigh*
    I really ought to fucking hold my tongue.

  4. Laurie says:

    One of the reasons I appreciate you is because we all just spent several days together, and you accidentally swore in front of your kids way more than I did, thereby throwing off the “no kids people to parental people” responsibility ratio by a really lot.

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  5. Elisa says:

    As a fellow potty mouth who tries to restrain herself but often fails, I found this hilarious. And puzzling. Why would it make him so happy to hear you swear?

  6. Maggie S. says:

    Pretty freeing. I actually cried.

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  7. trish says:

    My kids ask me if I’m feeling well when we make it home w/o me losing my mind at other drivers. I don’t know how ya’ll deal with the traffic you have there. Doing downtown Minneapolis at rush hour for therapy warrants it’s own therapy session. And a very large swear jar.

  8. Vicky says:

    My middle one said fuckin’ motherfucker yesterday in the car. I cannot blame that on anyone else but me. I have the mouth of a shipyard worker with the looks (I’ve been told) of Betty Draper. I swear entirely too much in front of my kids and I should be made to wear an electric dog collar to zap me each time I do it. Otherwise kids church, preschool and the elementary school are going to be calling me real soon.

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  9. Jen says:

    I not only have dropped the F bomb in front of my two angels, but my first reaction was to swear at my husband when he proposed. I had told myself my potty mouth would improve after I had children. I think it has declined.

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