Potato Chip Sandwiches and Other Staples of A Healthy Diet

I died and went to heaven and then came back and ate this cheese- and bacon-stuffed potato skin. OH MAH GAH.

Food. I haz obsession. I pretty much think about food ALL DAY LONG and when I’m eating one meal I’m already thinking about the next. Fortunately, I have the awesomest genes on the planet because I manage to stay in good shape and health.

But I often eat like crap.

For example, my favorite food? Potatoes. Mashed taters, especially. Tater tots. Also? Potatoes with cheese. And bacon.

You know, stuff that’s all fattening and high-calorie and TOTALLY HEALTHY. I have a knack for taking something innocuous and turning it into a 3,000 calorie meal.

I typically eat tons of salad and veggies and soups for lunch but sometimes I engage in some weird eating habits.

For example, If I have leftover mashed taters? I’ll eat a bowl of ‘em cold for breakfast. Or warm with butter. Or fried into potato pancakes with more butter. OR FOR LUNCH! I just dump gravy on them and nuke it. Yum.

Sooo healthy.

I do the same thing with rice. Hey! I have gravy and a leftover mystery meat! LUNCH!

But perhaps my all-time favorite lunch?

Potato chip sandwiches.

Yep, I’ll have some lunch meat and cheese and make a roast beef sandwich with pickles topped with either sour cream and onion or plain chips. Or if I have a turkey and provolone cheese sandwich, it gets barbecue chips. If I have leftover taco stuff I use corn chips for a Mexican-style sandwich.  Tuna also gets plain chips. For ham and cheese, any flavor is suitable, as long as it goes with mustard.

Yes, I’m aware that’s gross. But not as gross as eating ham and cheese with mayo. Ew.

And there’s something about ice cream–I must have pretzels to dip in it. Some folks around these parts like fries dipped in ice cream but I’d never do that to my beloved potatoes.

Because cheese or gravy belongs on them.

Mmmm… gravy fries.

When I was preggers the food weirdness was at an all-time high. I had a different form of potato EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for dinner. The Hubs would come home from work and be all, “Oh look. Potatoes. Big Ben, Parliament. Again.” My second pregnancy, I ate a turkey sandwich with pickles and chips every day for nine months. And for some reason after I had the kid I couldn’t eat that again for a year or two.

Weird.

I’m lucky because I live in the disgustingly-fattening-but-totally-tasty food capital of the world, The City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA. We’ve got hoagies and cheesesteaks and stromboli and all kinds of good, disgusting stuff. And scrapple. Have you had scrapple? You must try it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m out of chips and headed to the store.

 

 

About Marj Hatzell

Marj Hatzell climbed Mount Everest, explored the Amazon and swam across the English Channel. Not really, but she's the mother of two kids with special needs so SAME THING. She prefers dogs over people, which means she has STELLAR social skills. Marj isn't a writer but she plays one on tv. Marj also goes to eleven. You can find her at her non-paying day job, the wildly unsuccessful blog The Domestic Goddess, on Twitter, and on Facebook. She also has a not-so-new and definitely-not-successful-and-ignored blog at The Crazy Dog Lady and Facebook page no one visits.

Comments

  1. You had me at “cold mashed potatoes for breakfast”….I think we must be related.

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  2. Gina says:

    Since I was a kid and still to this day, I love chips on my sandwiches. Love the salty crunch and the taste. I only do plain chips, though. Pretzels in ice cream, I totally get that.

  3. Anjali says:

    I have eaten chips on my sandwich since childhood. They’re baked now, so I suppose it’s gotten a little better. But I’ll never give up that crunch!

  4. LibraryGirl62 says:

    Oh, baby, you are singing my song!!! Potatoes in ALL shapes, sizes, forms…and Fritos on bologna sammies and Lays on ham sammies…and french fries are always the perfect side dish :)

  5. Always plain with tuna. Also, cheese goes with everything, especially if it’s melted. I’ve been known to heartily consume leftover cold bolognese directly from the fridge. I don’t feel bad about it. It’s amazing.

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  6. jboogie says:

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  7. IzzyMom says:

    Many moons ago, when I was a vegetarian (and poor), I ate a lot of potato chip sandwiches. Just chips, mustard, mayo and bread. YUM!

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  8. You mean potato chips on sandwiches isn’t normal? I’ve been doing that my whole life – even on sloppy joes. A lot of people in my family do it too. Friends do it too. I just thought it’s how people eat sandwiches.

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  9. Bec Oakley says:

    OMG the barbecue! Yes, has to be barbecue. Sweet, sweet, no SALTY, salty, chipssss…

    Damn you woman. No chips or bread in the house.
    *drops to knees*
    *shakes fists at sky*
    Nooooooooooooooooooo!

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