It Is a Coping Mechanism

A bunch of the ladies in my neighborhood went out this weekend and did one of those Tough Mudder 5K obstacle course things. You know, you run, then you climb over walls and crawl under barbed wire in mud and then you run some more? One of those. I think it goes without saying that I wasn’t one of those ladies, but when they got home I was barraged with “YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THIS, SARAH!” text messages and pictures on Facebook of all 0f my super muddy friends.

I have to admit, it looks like they had a really good time.

At this juncture I am not ready to commit nor decline their not-at-all-subtle invitations, but I do want to talk about the fact that most of my friends are now in their forties. The women that participated in this race are in good shape (I guess, obviously, if they can climb ropes and rock walls). I don’t think I can do these things, but they were still discouraged by the younger women competing against them.

My neighbor, who was feeling great about finishing the race was telling me how fun it was when she lamented about the twentysomething women that were there. “They had flat stomachs and shorty shorts and muscles. I told Kathy, ‘We looked like that when we were 25 too!’”

Well, I never really had any abs to speak of and now that I have birthed twins I think my only shot at a flat stomach involves reconstructive surgery, but I will not let that bring me down.

“You look good now.” I said.

“Sarah,” my neighbors said. “You should have seen this girl’s butt.

“Lesley,” I said “She probably has a really small apartment, a shitty car and crabs.”

Because I might be 39 and I might have stretch marks and a mom butt but I have a lovely home and a working vehicle and you have to hold on to something, right?


About Goon Squad Sarah

Goon Squad Sarah rocks the mic like a vandal.

Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad, Draft Day Suit, That's Right. You Heard Me.,on twitter @goonsquadsarah or yelling at her TV.


  1. Lib Aubuchon says:

    Ugh. I hate how true it is that youth is wasted on the young! I look at pictures of myself in my 20s (when I thought I was a total fatty) and I should have been wearing a bikini 24 hours a day! Bleh.

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  2. Dara Squires says:

    I think I’m in better shape now than I was at 25. But there are still things I envy – like the ability to stay up all night writing essays, and still make it to class and post-class parties the next day. Now I’m lucky if I can make it to the shower…

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