My friend just invited me to her friend’s birthday party.
I emphasize the her because this birthday woman isn’t really my friend. I have nothing against her; she seems quite lovely except for the fact that I have met her like five time and every single time she is not only pleased to meet me but she is surprised that I also have twins.
I need to give these two ladies names–otherwise all of the she’s and hers are going to get too confusing. I don’t want to use their real names because 1) that is totally mean and 2) if I use their names they will find out and we will all feel weird about this and even more uncomfortable. Let’s call my friend Yoda and her friend Hamburglar.
Best use of Photoshop to date. Thanks @aaronvest
Good lord, that picture is going to give me nightmares.
Neither woman resembles either of these characters, but both names make me smile and my husband wouldn’t let me name the children either of those things so we’re using them here.
Just bear with me.
So, Yoda is a pretty good friend of mine. We see each other a few times a week and our kids play together. Hamburglar is a friend of hers from college who I have met several times but I wouldn’t say was in my circle. Yoda says that Hamburglar has asked that I be invited to her birthday party, but I’m not buying it.
The last time Yoda told me that Hamburglar wanted me to come over to Yoda’s house for the party was one of the five times she was pleased to meet me.
I think Yoda wants me to come to the party, which I know is very sweet, but not really a good reason to crash a party. Or go to a party. Or convince my husband that I need to go out on a Friday night and leave him home with the kids.
It is nice to want all of your friends to be friends with each other. It is weird to try to trick all of your friends into being friends with each other.
Should I go as a favor to Yoda? Or should I bag it knowing that Hamburlar doesn’t give a damn if I am there or not.
I don’t know. What does etiquette dictate? What would you do?
About Goon Squad Sarah
OMG. The “nice to meet you” personality complex!!! I HATE that. Pet Peeve of mine. What? You’re too good to even PRETEND that we’ve met before. I may not have a flying F$%k who you are, but I will pretend so that I’M NOT the pretentious ass. GAH.
We had one of these in college – the BFF of a (male) friend’s GF. I wanted to shriek “I held your hair back for you while you puked at Moondoggies last week and today you are saying “nice to meet you?” ?!
Don’t go. She wouldn’t remember next time you see her anyway.
I don’t think you need to go to this, and your friend may mean well, but she is overstepping by inviting you.
I want to say that picture is like some dream that you wake up from in the middle of the night and are afraid to walk in the dark to the bathroom. Holy crap!
Unless you have personal knowledge of plans to serve world class schooner sized margaritas, it is not worth playing the “Honey,I just need a night out with my adult friends” card. Save it for the promise of margaritas. Besides, you’d need a pretty big margarita to numb your tongue after you bite it all night to keep from saying what you REALLY want to say (because you know THAT will be the thing that makes her remember you the next time you see her).
Besides, I’m pretty sure they won’t let you come in your jammies and they will definitely want to share your double chocolate ice cream with Kaluha drizzled over the top and I’m pretty sure that’s even against the Geneva Convention.
I’d agree with the ‘not going’ comments above … especially the margaritas!
However I’d also be questioning why Yoda wants you there … and whether there is another way to support her …
Is she nervous about going ‘slone’ for some reason? feeling the need for trusted moral support? (Would pre-party drinks at her house beforehand and mutterings about dress, hair, make-up help her at all?)
Confession – the first Ladies’ Dinner invitation after I had my second child involved me asking to buy some make-up from a friend who had a home business, she ended up coming round to mine and doing the whole ‘makeover’ thing in the afternoon, but she didn’t come to the party that was never considered!
Does Yoda have some issues with Hamburglar that she may wish to discuss with you, whether you see signs or have concerns etc. In which case this is totally the wrong situation for it, the woman’s birthday party, but you can listen to Yoda regardless!
Or is Hamburglar desperate for more friends/invitees either through personal needs/loneliness or through wanting to have a large and impressive gathering? (she sounds shallow enough (!) I’m sure I would remember you if I’d met you 5 times)
for ‘slone’ read ‘alone’ … not some wierd reference to London Sloane society ladies or anything … just a typo!
And besides, who cares about going to a party full of people you don’t know, honoring somebody you don’t care about, and being almost surely expected to bring a gift for somebody whose tastes you don’t know? I’m not sure why you’re debating this. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Then again, I’ve been accused of being a recluse. Stay home, spend the present money on takeout and a movie and enjoy your family time. lol
Don’t go. If I remember meeting someone and they don’t remember meeting me? Well, I go out of my way to not “meet” them again.
Correction: that photo is going to give us ALL nightmares.
Twitter Name: twobusy
This is how I met my wife. I was invited by my best friend at the time to go to a party his co-worker was having as a send-off to her roomate. The roommate and my friend didn’t know each other. Awesomeness ensued. Go. Be Spinal Tap about it. Wear a large cucumber wrapped in foil down your pants.
I just “met” someone for the FIFTH time at Blissdom and I’m over it. I think by that many times it is not worth it and it’s okay to just realize that some people are meant to be friends of friends and only that. I would only go to the party if there is really good food and favors involved.
Steph
Sounds to me like that party is going to be more work than it’s worth. Are you going to try to make her remember next time? what if she doesn’t? why does yoda want you to go? why don’t you believe that you’re really invited..and can you call yoda out on that belief? So many questions! I wouldn’t go, too much hassle.
Twitter Name: jibbertwit
Don’t waste your time. Unless the food is going to be really awesome. Like if there’s going to be molten lava chocolate cake. Then go.
My life is very simple. Can you tell?
Stay home. I have only met you once and remembered it. Of course, it was planned, but still.
Time is precious…only go if she is raffling off a cruise or a car. But not if the raffle is actually a telemarketer ploy.
Or go out, but somewhere else. Like a Duran Duran or Bon Jovi concert.