Remember – Laundry is a Privilege

Do you hate doing laundry? Please don’t.

I’m here to ask you to re-think this.

Why? Because you have the privilege of doing laundry. Yes, the privilege. You are able to do the following while laundry is cleaned: Stay in the comfort of your home. Wear pajamas. Drink wine. Watch bad TV.

Here, in the Land of the Endless Basement Renovation, there is no in-home laundry nirvana. So I’ve explored other options:

1) Become the Kato Kaelin of Laundry. In this model, I turn up at the homes of friends and relatives with pounds and pounds of dirty clothes. This requires that I stay for an extended period of time and impose upon them.

Which means we may or may not have shown up at my mother’s recent family party with six loads of laundry. It was like coming home from college – with a husband and two kids. {And I brought an appetizer. I mean, let’s not be tacky.}

2) Use the Drop-Off Wash & Fold. Having lived in Manhattan for years, this was familiar territory to me; most apartment buildings’ laundry “facilities” are often housed in a terrifying boiler room that surely doubles as the NYC Serial Killer Headquarters.

So. One dollar per pound? I’m in. I’ll give you two.

If memory served from my NYC wash & fold life, I would get to come back to find my 30 pounds of laundry miraculously folded like origami in one small sandwich-sized bag.

Not this time.

When I arrived for pick-up, excited to be reunited with pieces of clothing I hadn’t worn in weeks, I was greeted by this:

“Oooooh, it’s you. Uh, hi.”

“Hi. What’s wrong? Where’s my sandwich bag?”

“Wellllll. Your laundry accidentally got combined with someone else’s.”

{Blinking audibly}

“So, if you could just go through this basket and pick out your stuff, that would be great.”

{Internal screaming}

During this process, I asked for salad tongs to remove the pair of very European men’s underwear (which could’ve used extra bleach, incidentally) from atop my daughter’s Dora pajamas.

And so ended my patronage of this particular establishment.

With no upcoming family gatherings to which I can haul my laundry, where does this leave me? Clearly things need to change in order to minimize the mountain of dirty clothes:

  • I could insist my kids eat in the nude.
  • Or color while wearing Hazmat suits.
  • Or get an overnight catheter for my four year-old.

These are just ideas I’m throwing around.

In the meantime, remember: Laundry is a privilege.

And, yes, that’s me in your driveway with two big baskets of dirty clothes, my naked kids and a bottle of fabric softener. Can I come in for a while?

About the Writer
Kim Forde is a mother of two and a fledgling suburban SAHM, just trying to live through one of the longest home renovation projects in modern American history.  She is fueled by caffeine, wine, snark, and years of pent up urban road rage.  She can be found on her blog, The Fordeville Diaries, where is she often planning a hoarding intervention for her husband, loathing arts & crafts projects and wondering how her life became a live-audience HGTV marathon.

 

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Comments

  1. Sili says:

    I love this. For the record, I hate laundry. You can come over and do it here but it will cost you. What, you ask? You’d have to fold mine…LOL

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  2. Gina says:

    This is really cute but I still hate laundry. Kato Kaelin, what a riot. There is nothing better than the pretty package of clothes picked up from the wash and fold except if you have to do what you did. Disgusting!

  3. A little part of me misses the laundromat.
    Prior to kids, I lived near this one that combined a laundromat/arcade/tanning salon.
    Post-children, I’d leave the kids with daddy and relax with junk magazines, bad tv and junk food while waiting for our laundry. (or do the drop off and fold, that was also awesome.)

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  4. Megan says:

    Too bad the wash and fold thing didn’t work out for you. I’d gladly pay $1 a lb. to have all my clothes folded for me.

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    • I know, it sounds great in theory, right? I agree!
      But in reality, it’s a giant pain — especially with two young kids.

      And it adds up — I’m on week 24 of no laundry machines. But, I’m sure that someday I’ll miss all that folding being done for me.

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  5. Teri Carter says:

    When I was condo shopping one of the places I looked had an indoor pool but no laundry hook-ups in the condo’s. Swimming year round or being able to laundry at my leisure. Guess which one won, even though it is a stacked unit and the washer is tiny I would rather that than have to haul all my stuff to the laundry mat.

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