Flawlessness is Killing Us Softly

Miss Unlimited, do you know Jean Kilbourne? You’re about to meet her. Please take a break today (the video is in two parts, 20 minutes each) and I promise you will be wiser, sharper, more in tune with yourself and the world around you. You will stop. Your jaw will drop. If you think your self-esteem isn’t adversely affected by media and advertising, you’re dead wrong. And I know this to be true because I thought it myself before I saw this YouTube gem.

Now watch. Even if you only have time for the first few minutes I will be thrilled. I know you’re  moaning and groaning because I did the same thing. I don’t typically watch a lot of stuff online, but this is an EXCEPTIONAL exception. If you want to change your life and other women’s lives, you will press play.

Part I:

Part II:


Do you watch commercials? Do you read magazines? Do you look at billboards? Do you see other kinds of advertising everywhere? If you’re like me, you don’t really pause to consider it all that much. But since I watched this I haven’t been able to STOP thinking about it. We think that as women we’ve come so far, but now I’ve realized we have an extra long way to go. And the saddest part is that it’s not only men contributing to this, but women as well!

So let’s promise ourselves not to buy into this stuff anymore. Let’s vow to stand together, work together to change these kinds of attitudes so that they become unacceptable. I have a stack of magazines right now in my living room that are going into the recycling bin–right after I put together a vlog about the ads I tear out of them. I bet if you hunt around, you can find some, too? Pitch ‘em. We can’t prompt change if we don’t start somewhere, even if it’s a small somewhere. Literally, I’m not buying into it. And neither should you.

I’m begging you to watch and share this. Even if you can’t watch it in its entirety, just try the first two or three minutes. I promise you will be HOOKED. I promise the video will change your life and how you think. Forever.

Women are not objects. We are not just our body parts. We are not just things.

We all have flaws. And they don’t need to be camouflaged.


Source: Killing Us Softly 4, Jean Kilbourne

About Anissa Mayhew

You can read more Anissa at her blog Free Anissa and as a contributing writer at Babble. She's at Twitter, FacebookG+, and Pinterest too. And yes, she's probably up to no good either.



  1. Becky Brandt says:

    I LOVED this and thank you so much for sharing it! I’m passing it on to everyone I know!!!! Excellent and so true!

  2. okay, gonna watch it now (: the entire sexualisation of women, I already knew. Look at commercial, look movies. it’s everywhere!

  3. Teri Carter says:

    love this. I am going to have my daughter watch it. She is 11 now and entering the age of adolescence when this starts.

  4. Galit Breen says:

    Erin? I’m in awe of your call for change. You’re an amazing example and advocate for your girls, and mine.

    (Thank you.)


  5. I watched all of these two videos and am shocked by how much has gotten past me all these years and also by how little has changed.

    Of course I had a general awareness that there were negative issues in the media, but I never really stopped to consider everything these ads subconsciously instill in us.

    I didn’t consider specific products.

    I do not shop much (I hate shopping and am unemployed so I can’t indulge in consumerism) but I applaud your call to change and will do what I can to pull my support from the products I see engaged in this war.

    Because that’s what these advertisements have turned life into. War. Against others and especially against ourselves.

    Great post, Erin.

    p.s. I love you for your mind. In case you didn’t know…

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