1. If I got to the end of the first cupcake and was not truly satisfied with the regular icing, I was allowed to eat the second cupcake with the cream cheese icing to balance out my lack of satisfaction with deliciousness.
2. If I cleaned up the pool of cat puke under the kitchen table, then I could put off cleaning the rest of the kitchen floor for another week, because 20% of the kitchen coupled with the yuck of cat puke really equalled the experience of cleaning the whole floor without cat puke.
3. If I ordered gravy with my fries, I would eat vegetables at least twice the next day so I wouldn’t die of a heart attack.
4. If I replaced the roll of toilet paper on the toilet paper holder, I could skip flossing my teeth as a kind of trade–one good bathroom deed for another.
5. If I walked to the bank to deposit a check, I could go shopping at that store full of weird clothing samples, because it was kind of like I was paying myself for walking.
6. If I ate the aging take-out asian food in my refrigerator and didn’t die, then I would write my mother more often so the Universe would know that I am actually quite thankful for being alive.
7. If I went to bed before 2 a.m., I would do something very mature like clean the toilet in the morning so that my life wouldn’t look the same as it did when I was 17.
8. If I watched television for four solid hours, I would do push-ups during commercials, which would mean I was actually extra fantastic, because I don’t exercise outside of the push-ups/commercials deal.
9. I didn’t count the indulgent take-out last night as the once-weekly indulgent take-out I try to limit myself to, because it was the Palinode‘s suggestion instead of mine, and so I decided that I will still have my regular Friday take-out, and I just realized that this point has no actual deal in it, so it shouldn’t really be on this list, and this sentence is getting stupid long okay I’ll quit now.
10. If I ironed and wore a really nice top, I would let myself get away with not polishing my scruffy-looking boots, because a fancy shirt in combination with ratty boots balances out to looking alright, right?
I find making deals with myself goes a long way to justify my life choices. It’s a good system for those of us who want to use our better deeds to justify things like ice cream and naps. Do you make deals with yourself?
About Schmutzie
Sure I make deals with myself. Some things would never get done otherwise.
Twitter Name: AccidentalDesig
I like the cat puke thing. Maybe I’ll start using left-over wipes from the baby days and spot clean things and chalk it up for a full-fledged mop of said floor.
Or something.
Yep, definitely, will go pick up a wipe now.
PS wipes are good for ‘polishing’ boots too. :)
Twitter Name: Javaline
And, believe or not, baby wipes will also lift permanent marker out of clothing. That kind of scares me.
Twitter Name: schmutzie
Oh honey if I didn’t reward myself I don’t think I’d even breathe….
I make a lot of deals with myself. But most of them involve things I am going to start doing “tomorrow”.
I’ve been making a lot of small deals with myself these days. It helps me in my goal-setting for all the little changes I want to make in my life.
Twitter Name: ninesnowboots
I have done the first one on many occasions. I don’t even see anything wrong with it!!
I’m sort of curious about this system. I don’t even bother making deals, I just rationalize.
Some of these are pretty brilliant!
I have likewise made many deals with myself.
Many of mine, however, revolve around food. And dog puke instead of cat puke.
Like just now? I ate 3 bowls of Frosted Flakes. I was starving. While knowing that wouldn’t even fill me up b/c, HELLO, no real protein. But I had to have them. So in exchange I am doing some laundry and then I will have a protein bar for lunchy lunch.
Twitter Name: erinmargolin
I hope the unexpected take-out was sushi :)
Twitter Name: Louise Gleeson
In the movie “The Big Chill,” the Jeff Goldblum character says that rationalizations are better than sex. When his friends start to say that’s not true, he says “well, have you ever gone a day without a rationalization?” It’s a line I play often to myself as I negotiate this-for-that, or I’ll do this in “payment” for that. Usually these bargains involve cleaning & food, sometimes work. Like: if I do all the laundry then I don’t have to read those student papers (which will magically comment on themselves, probably while I eat cheese and crackers, god’s perfect food).
Twitter Name: mannahattamamma
Now I know what movie to watch next!
Twitter Name: schmutzie
Every single one of these deals has, or reasonably could, exist in my head. Right there with you.