Sometimes You Don’t Get What You Want

When I was younger, I was wise; I knew exactly what I wanted. I was a planner; I had things mapped out. It was reassuring to have things all worked out… except when things didn’t work out according to my plan.

The first ginormous deviation from my “plan” came when I applied to college. I only applied to one–you can see where this is going–and I didn’t get in. Well, that’s not actually true. I did get accepted to the college of my choice, but not to the program of my choice. I had auditioned for the acting conservatory and did not get a spot. To say I was devastated would be putting it mildly.

I was hurt, wounded, shocked, angry, scared, jealous, dumbfounded and on and on. Holy crap! What was I going to do? It was the only college that I applied to and I didn’t want to go for their liberal arts program. So I didn’t go and I felt lost and sorry for myself. I worked at jobs I hated and felt lost and sorry for myself.

There was a person in my life, my high school drama teacher, who helped me through that period. My mother was moving to a city a couple of hours away and I wasn’t going with her, so my high school drama teacher let me live with her for a year. She let me cry, complain, eat junk food and make a mess of her home. Then, when a year passed and I was still feeling lost and sorry for myself, she told me I had to leave. Holy crap! What was I going to do?

My teacher went on some sort of conference and ended up settling in San Francisco. She called me from the trip and told me that I should consider going to school there, as she thought it would be a good fit. I visited San Francisco and it fit like a glove! I ended up going to college and graduating summa cum laude, doing some acting, marrying someone, starting a family, and becoming a writer–all in San Francisco.

I tell you this story, not to say, “Oh, things will always work out for the best,” because sometimes things don’t work out for the best. I tell you this story because sometimes you don’t get what you want… and you will be fine. That one moment will not define your entire life. It will just make you look at your options and go after something else that you want–something you just might get.

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