My family and I live in a small town just outside of a big town, and after living here for a year I have mastered the art of being sufficiently neighborly. Here are a few tips to make sure you are never identified in a news story as, “I didn’t really know them, but they seemed like an OK family.”
(Seriously–does anyone else ever get in a panic about this stuff? I would be so offended if my neighbors couldn’t think of anything to say about me on the 6pm news.)
- Be aware of how you park your car. Are you always the jerk that makes it impossible for another car to park behind you? Or do you have one of those crazy sensitive car alarms? Do you maybe come home at a late hour playing music with a heavy downbeat?
- Pick up after your wards. Have a dog? It probably poops. So OBVIOUSLY you had best be cleaning that up. Have a kid? He probably drops stuff between your front door and the rest of the world. Pick it up. You win bonus points for picking up after others–just make sure to do it when someone in the neighborhood sees you doing it. You don’t want your good deed to be a tree falling in the forest.
- Don’t be so heavy. This is really for those of us that share walls or floors with other families. Removing shoes goes a looooong way in helping quiet stuff down. Even if you live in a cul-de-sac you can do things like not slam the car doors or front doors. (Unless you really need to prove a point, then go ahead)
- Dial it down. I get it, I am hard of hearing and I probably have my TV on louder than the average person. But at night I try to dial down the sound. This also goes for telephones. Sure, you want to be able to hear your phone while you’re washing the clothes in the basement–just be aware that your across the street neighbor is hearing Ma Bell too. And you don’t want any ill communication.
- Don’t be a wafter. You know how the lady two houses over makes bread and you can smell it in your house and all of a sudden you are all, “I WANT BREAD!!!”? This same wafting thing happens with other smells, too, so if you are outside chain-smoking watch the direction of the wind.
If you have pissed off one of your neighbors the best way to repair things is with a short note (and if it was a dog poo-size offense, maybe include a gift card for a cup of coffee).
How are you at being neighborly?
About Dresden Plaid
I totally agree with the dog poo point. We live in a condo community where my husband is the the Maintenance Supervisor, and the community has placed lots of the dog pot poo stations all over the community so you don’t have to go very far to find a bag for Fido’s leavings and a place to deposit his “deposit”. The fact that folks here are such lazy assholes who refuse to pick up after their dogs pisses me off to no end!
Twitter Name: blondefabulous
Our next door neighbors slam their car doors really loudly all the time. (Their garage is full of junk and they park in the driveway which is right outside our front window.) It’s so loud that every time it happens, Matt asks me “what WAS that?”
I need to go make some bread now.
Twitter Name: herewegoajen
I don’t want to be a better neighbor. I want to move. I want no more neighbors. Ever. I tried being the better neighbor. People are assholes!
Twitter Name: FireMom
This is definitely the advantage of living in the boonies. No one cares about dog poop when there is plenty of deer poop, horse poop, beaver poop and other assorted poops to deal with. Plus our houses are far enough apart, I don’t think it’s possible to slam a door all that loud. Being a good neighbor in the country means telling their kids to get out of that tree before they break their neck and not brightlighting their front window. Way easier.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
You should come live with me. No shared walls. No parking issues (I could park 25 cars in my “driveway” and still have room to move). No noise or smell wafting (nearest neighbour is 200m away) although one evening last Summer I stopped walking in my field and was super dooper quiet and even then I wasn’t 100% sure that I could hear the fact that they were having a BBQ.
None the less I am still a nice neighbour and have been known to bake for my neighbours.
I am the lucky one because my neighbours are FANTASTIC! Before Christmas my car battery was dead. I rang one neighbour to come and jump start me and a different one arrived (they work together). The following morning the the guy I rang originally arrived to check that the car would start because he didn’t want me stuck!
But yeah, you should come and live with me!