I was the last iPhone holdout I know. The first and only app I had for a month was Words with Friends. I needed nothing else. It was like a word nerd’s heaven.
And by “word nerd,” I mean foul-mouthed jackass who clearly has a limited and inappropriate vocabulary.
But the more I’ve attempted to broaden my vocabulary, the more I’ve come to realize it’s not me that is limited — it’s Words with Friends.
Take this, for example:
Um, hawt is so a word. I use it often, “God DAMN, I look good. I haven’t washed my hair in six days and I’ve been wearing the same pajama pants for two. I’m the epitome of hawt.”
I even used it in a sentence. Also, Urban Dictionary agrees:
And then there was this:
I can assure you that this one is complete and total bullshit. Vag is probably my most-used word and therefore, I know it’s legit. I’m constantly remarking on women who need me to kick them in the vag or asking my husband if his vag hurts when he’s sick with a barely noticeable cold and is whining like a school girl in panties about how he might die.
Once again, Urban Dictionary is on my side.
I’m not sure who I can contact about this, but clearly, there’s been a huge mistake.
I accept fu and evec aren’t words, but cum? Come on. (Plus, cum-fu sort of has a ring to it, no?) And again, Urban Dictionary sided with me. I won’t share that screen shot, but you’re welcome to check for yourself.
Then there was this one, which I just KNEW was a word, because, hello I heard it in Training Day. And if someone says it in Training Day, there’s no question about it.
Usually, Urban Dictionary just verifies what I already know, but in this case, I got an education and learned that it can be offensive (for real – not my kind of offensive). So, mental note: Don’t try to work it into daily conversations. I felt like an asshole — kind of like my mom probably felt after she offered to teach my husband how to perform oral sex.
Word with Friends doesn’t always do me wrong. It at least recognizes some of my vocabulary.
Anyone want to play Words with Friends with me?
About Laura Willard
Words with Friends pulls the same BS with me and “puto” is sooo a word. A bad one at that.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
Glad it’s not just me that Word with Friends messes with. These are all words. All of them.
Twitter Name: AnunCommonMom
I am sad b/c I have an EVOO so I can’t play WWF, right? Also, I just wanted to use vag in a post but was worried some people wouldn’t get it. So instead I used coslopus and put a link to Urban DIctionary’s definition just to be safe.
LOVE THIS! xo
Twitter Name: erinmargolin
omg, noooo!!!! WWF is the best game ever (except when it’s denying my words). Um, thanks for the education. I just learned a new world I didn’t know existed. :) xo
Twitter Name: AnunCommonMom
Was that our game? I know I played with dong recently…(that’s what she said).
HA! “Recently?” You probably play with the dong daily.
and yes, it was our game. You’re internet famous.
Twitter Name: AnunCommonMom
I never forget a dong.
I’ve also played slut and with the U tossed in nuns. I’m all about dongs and slutty nuns.
You’re welcome.
Rhonda’s selling herself short — she also added “gods” to my “twat” play. She’s all about classing the place up!
(or I am. I guess “twat” might not be the most sophisticated play either.)
Well, come on, who wants a godless twat?
My 9th grade son and I are addicted to playing WWF – even to the point that we play while he’s in school and I know he should be paying attention in class and playing not on his itouch. I’m so setting him up for failure…great parenting, I know. I can foresee the day I get called to the principal’s office for his actions. I’m already trying to think of some type of shock and awe response at his level of misbehavior (hahaha!). Pitiful. We were playing last night, then he informs me he had an English test today he didn’t study for but his excuse was that trying to come up with WWF words was English enough. I’d LOVE to play words with friends with you. Alvinsgal@gmail.com – look me up!
Daaaay-um. The article makes me wet myself and then I get to the comments and it happens again. It must be my godless twat.
This is awe.some.
Twitter Name: julieinthelou
I always aim to please, or at least maim.
Cum-fu Panda could be martial arts porn movie . .
ROFLMAO!
Twitter Name: jhollywoodd
WWF doesn’t recognize queef, either. Where’s the justice?!
Twitter Name: somebodyhealme
I was playing Words with Friends an hour ago and it wouldn’t let me use “thar”. Hey, looky over thar! Come. On.
I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to use the WTF. I mean, seriously – WTF, WWF? W.T.F?
Twitter Name: JWMoxie
I’m addicted to that game. I don’t read books anymore, no time, too many games…
I actually tried HAWT a few weeks ago myself! I was shocked when it shot me down.
My new favorite high scoring word is SUQ. In my world, we pronounce it “suck”, however the dictionary says otherwise.
Twitter Name: jhollywoodd