Yeah, I don't buy it either, Mr. Schue.
I’m re-watching Lost on Hulu right now. Not literally right now, as in while I’m typing this, but right now as in “at this stage in my life where I do little besides breastfeed in front of the TV while absent-mindedly picking lint out of my baby’s neck rolls.”
It makes me kind of sad, because watching the first three seasons of Lost you forget how awesome it was before (POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT FOR PEOPLE RECENTLY AWAKENED FROM COMAS) it got all biblical and Touched By An Angel at the end. And of course I made it to the bitter end. See, when it comes to television, I’m a serial monogamist, committed to a fault.
I generally fall hard for TV shows. Sure, I play the field, watching other shows on the side, but in that heady flush of first love, when I spend hours and hours watching back-to-back episodes, nothing compares to what I now regard as My Show. I become obsessed, poring over the stars’ Wikipedia pages and even–gasp!–internet fan fiction. I become attached too quickly. When My Show inevitably falters–its plot lines become over-complicated and ridiculous (ahem, Gossip Girl), its characters get boring and repetitive (The Office–sorry, but ever since Jim and Pam fizzled their sexual tension by actually having sex, it has all the suspense of a regular bowel movement), its doctors have already all died and/or had to operate on each other (Grey’s Anatomy), or it simply jumps so high over the shark that it’s kind of like a shark jumping over another shark jumping over Tyra Banks in a unitard (America’s Next Top Model)–I remain steadfastly devoted. I will never be the one to break up with My Show. It has to dump me, either by getting canceled or by coming over to my house and giving me back my mix CDs, whichever comes first.
The latest casualty is Glee. Yes, Glee. I know some of you are already sharpening your bitch-cutting knives, but hear me out. I’m glad it’s OK to be gay on Fox now and all, and I like a good Adele mash-up as much as the next closeted karaoke addict, but I can barely make it through the damn thing anymore without pausing at least twice to weep at how I’m wasting my life watching teenagers look bored singing country songs for no reason while their teacher makes a blow-job face and slow claps. Didn’t this show used to be kind of edgy? When it first aired, it was a perfect miss of mushy sweetness and snarky snap, but now it’s a big overrated puddle of blah. And we didn’t even get to see Mr. Schue have sex with Emma!
Lame.
I can’t wait to see what happens next week.
(Help me; I’m sick.)
About Una LaMarche
Blow Job Face — hahahahahahahaha!
And I agree. It’s sugary-sweetness has me hooked like a [insert some witty comparison here]. And I can’t stop watching…have you tried American Horror Story? Written by the same guy who writes Glee. [or something like that] It might blow your mind…and have you trying to figure out which of the Glee kids would be the first one killed in the Murder House!
I think I’ve watched maybe one episode of Glee this season. I keep saying I’m just going to spend a Saturday watching all the episodes, but then I get caught up watching ANTM marathons. I might be ashamed of admitting that if you hadn’t already admitted to your ANTM addiction.
I second the American Horror Story nod. You can watch the whole season on FX online.
Twitter Name: JWMoxie
I had to break up with Glee during the year of Stamos, but I am a fickle bitch.
Twitter Name: funnyorsnot
I am the same way. I’ll hang on for years before I give up. I’m nothing if not loyal.
Twitter Name: msmegan
Thirding American Horror Story and yeah, Glee has started sucking. I also don’t think Emma and Will have had sex yet! Gasp!
I stopped watching Glee when I found myself fast forwarding through most of the songs. What’s up with all the obscure showtunes? I can’t take it–and I LOVE musicals!