Children are people too. Stubborn, bizarre and obtuse little people, whose actions and activities make the strangest things come out of your mouth. Here are just a few of the extraordinary things my boys have caused me to say throughout their hyperactive little lives:
- Please don’t step on the baby.
- Please stop smelling my pants.
- No, you may not touch the dog poo, not even with a stick.
- How many times to I have to explain to you why I don’t have a peanut?
- No, you may not make the baby into a sandwich using couch cushions.
- Yes, you may stand on my back and pretend I’m a surfboard, as long as you let me lie down.
- Those are mommy’s private parts. No one in Chuck E. Cheese wants to see them, so please put my dress back down.
- No, if you gag on the broccoli and spit it back onto your plate, that bite does not count toward dessert.
- Yes, replacing each word in “You are my sunshine” with “poop” is hilarious, but I’m not going to sing it that way.
- Please don’t pee on your brother.
- Please don’t pee on your feet.
- Please don’t pee on my feet.
- Stop licking the produce.
What strange utterances come out of your mouth around your (or other people’s) children?
Photo Credit: Mathieu Gasnier