Some people just aren’t cut out to be parents. You know the type. The ones that are constantly yelling at their kids, every little thing stressing them out or pissing them off.
The other day I was at the park. It was really crowded, and this dad walked up with his super cute two year old twins. An ordinary enough occurrence. And when they asked for some goldfish, he took a bag out and handed it to his son. I looked away for a moment, thinking there was nothing else to see.
Next thing I know, this sorry excuse for a dad is swearing up a storm in front of a park full of little kids, there are goldfish splattered all over the sidewalk, and he’s yelling, “You just had to have your own bag, didn’t you? Couldn’t share, could you? We’re here two minutes, and you start with this selfish shit!”
And then his kids are bawling their heads off, clearly terrified of their asshole dad who can’t get a grip, and he’s walking off all huffy down the sidewalk, and the kids are torn between going with their enraged dad or staying at the park by themselves.
Reluctantly, they follow their dad. Everyone’s looking at the scene and thinking that the guy’s even more of an asshole because he left half a bag of goldfish all over the playground.
And, then, get this – he gets to his car, the kids are still going crazy, and he’s still shouting all kinds of blithering nonsense, foam coming out of his mouth, smoke coming out of his ears, and this woman offers him a little polite sympathy, “Just take a deep breath. It’ll pass.”
And the guy jams his kids into their car seat, and they’ve got snot flying all over the place, and they’re kicking and screaming, and the guy looks at the woman, and says, “Fuck off!”
Can you believe that? That’s what the guy said – fuck off! To this innocent woman who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
And then the guy peels out like he’s Mario Andretti, and you can hear the screaming from all three of them through the closed windows, and when the car turned the corner and sped away down the street, the calmness and innocence returned to the park.
I don’t know what was wrong with that guy.
What I do know is that it was easier to tell this story in the third person, and that it was just a really tough day. I’m also sorry that I left the goldfish on the sidewalk, and that I told that poor lady to fuck off.
About Jared Karol
AHAHAHAHA! I am crying!
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Sorry to make you cry. . . I’m crying just thinking about that day. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Some days we all need a do over.
Twitter Name: Cookerati
You can say that again!
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
We all have those days once in a while, moms, dads, all of us. Just know your not alone!
Thanks, J. Even though I know that, it’s still good to hear it (read it!)
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Thank god for the end of this story, because I was all set to leave a whole different kind of comment. About how dare you judge that man–he has two year old twins. . .that sounds like reason enough to tell someone to fuck off. I’m just impressed you didn’t punch her. Way to go with the self-restraint.
Thanks so much. Yes, I usually have pretty good self-restraint, although it was severely tested that day. And, knowing that we are all capable of having days like that has made me much less judgmental when I see that happening with other parents/kids. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Sometimes I think I need my parenting license revoked, too. Thanks for being so brave to share this.
I’m sure we all could use a little revoking now and then. Glad to share – you’re welcome!
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Whooooopsy.
But what they will remember? You took them to the park.
Trust me. Years later they will remember.
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
Yes, you’re probably right. And, now is right around the time when they’ll have their very first lifelong memories. I wonder if that will be one of them?
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
We all have those moments. What’s worse is, when I yell at my kids, I sound like my father. Exactly like him. Makes me feel twice as bad when I yell at my kids.
Twitter Name: TechyDad
Yeah, I always feel like a complete ass when I yell at my kids. Because in the end, it’s usually just a battle of wills and mostly not worth it. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Since my seven year old and I went to war last night over homework and at one point I threatened to take away all her marbles, call Santa Claus and her teacher and make her go to bed without supper, I just want to thank you for writing this. Sometimes you just lose it. Completely.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
Having just finished a ten-year teaching career (three of which were teaching second grade), I have heard many similar homework battle stories from parents over the years. I think it’s okay to lose it every once in a while. It reminds you that you’re real, and let’s your kid(s) know too. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
My mouth is never restrained. Like ever. I get this occurrence. Like, a lot.
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
Thanks so much. I’m glad that you could relate to it. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
I know that guy.
Twitter Name: Chase_McFadden
Hey, me too. Unfortunately!
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
I did not see that coming, but so much more relatable. While I have never told any Holly Hobby Helpers to “fuck off”, it’s probably in me given the right circumstance.
Twitter Name: funnyorsnot
I think it’s in all of us given the right circumstance. Sometimes taking a deep breath doesn’t do the trick. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
This makes me smile. Not because I sympathize with that asshole dad (geez, that jerk, really?) but because some days…misery loves company, ya know?
Yes, misery definitely loves company! Which is good, because I’m miserable more often than I’d like to be. . .
Twitter Name: lickthefridge
Wow, this is soooo much like me nowawdays! And to think that I thought the guy was an asshole, when in reality I’m just as much a bitch as he was a dick.
I’m glad to see that I don’t suffer alone.